


Light and Darkness

by fyewind



Category: Baldur's Gate, Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Dungeons & Dragons - All Media Types, Forgotten Realms
Genre: Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff and Angst, Forgotten Realms Elements, Mild Language, Mutual Masturbation, Nudity, Sex, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Vampire Bites, mention of rape
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:20:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 30,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28103088
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyewind/pseuds/fyewind
Summary: “I’ll see what I can do. I just really need a capable healer,” she mused.“Really? So, we’re messengers now?” Astarion hissed.SiNafae waved off his annoyance as they made their way down through the grove. Buying a few items from the druids, the others walked farther ahead. She soon found her quarry and walked beside him. Astarion was brooding, clearly annoyed. She smirked to herself as she glanced at his face. He was watching her back. She shriveled under his gaze and exhaled the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.
Relationships: Astarion (Baldur's Gate)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 53





	1. Light and Darkness

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic. Enjoy :)
> 
> Y'all have made me so happy, reading my story. I'm going to work on it and get better. Thank you so much. It means a lot to me. :D

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We meet the party not long after they save the grove the first time from goblins attacking. Builds on the interaction of the op character and her party, mainly Astarion.

“Bold of you to be out given your heritage. There aren’t many drow in this area who aren’t looked down upon.”

SiNafae’s lilac eyes flashed and her jaw clenched.

_Oh Shit,_ Astarion thought, _she might rip his tongue out. I wonder if she’d make him eat it. Delicious._

“The same can be said of tieflings, no?” SiNafae replied as she relaxed her face.

Zevlor frowned, “Indeed. I meant no disrespect. I’ll tell the guards that you and your party helped us. You can come and go as long as we are here, though I can’t say for how long. The druids are forcing us out as soon as their damn ritual is finished. If you can, do you think you could help us a bit more?”

“Speak,” SiNafae sighed.

“Halsin, the archdruid of this grove, went missing with that damn expedition. His second, Kagha, has taken his place and is forcing us out and is preparing to cut the grove off from the outside. We aren’t fighters and with all the goblins out there, we’ll be slaughtered. She owes you after you saved the grove from that attack. Could you try and persuade her to give us more time?”

“I’ll see what I can do. I just really need a capable healer,” she mused.

“Really? So, we’re messengers now?” Astarion hissed.

SiNafae waved off his annoyance as they made their way down through the grove. Buying a few items from the druids, the others walked farther ahead. She soon found her quarry and walked beside him. Astarion was brooding, clearly annoyed. She smirked to herself as she glanced at his face. He was watching her back. She shriveled under his gaze and exhaled the breath she hadn’t realized she was holding.

“I’m sorry,” she began.

“For what, darling?” Astarion retorted.

“I know you don’t want to help these tieflings with whatever the Hells is going on here. I’m not sure I really do either. I highly doubt an apprentice will do any good. If we can delay this ritual for a while, maybe we can find Halsin, if he still lives anyway. It’s worth a try. Plus, it might really annoy this Kagha person if we do.”

Glancing at Astarion, she noticed a slight smirk on his face.

“Fine.”, he sighed.

“If he was taken by goblins, just think of how many get to die,” SiNafae hummed as she touched his arm lightly. He instinctively recoiled a bit and relaxed. She frowned.

_Damn it! She isn’t HIM! She could incinerate you at any time if she wanted, yet all she has done is keep you alive and show you honest concern. You ass._

“I’m sorry…I didn’t mean to bother you. I…”, she began.

_Gods, she looks so hurt,_ he mused. “It’s fine darling, really. As I said before, I’m a magistrate. People aren’t usually this close unless I let them. You caught me off guard, that’s all.”

She raised an eyebrow as she looked into his eyes. He wasn’t sure if she was buying it; he wouldn’t but still. She nodded in understanding. He barely heard her whisper as she walked away. “I don’t know who hurt you, Astarion, but when I find them, they will wish they hadn’t.”

He stopped as she walked farther away. _Just who in the Hells did she think she was? Cazador Szarr would kill her before she even knew he was there. She would be lucky if all he did was kill her. Was this the famous drow arrogance and confidence he heard so much about or just her way of protecting her friends? Friends? They’d only just met several days ago. Perhaps friends was too strong a word. Comrades, maybe._

She was certainly different from the few drow he had met in passing. Ruthless, violent, and deliciously cruel were not words he would use to describe SiNafae Dyrr at all. At times she was patient while at others she was reckless and unhinged. She threw her spells at enemies with wild abandon, almost as if she enjoyed it but within the same breath would tend to your wounds with care.

Astarion regained his senses when he noticed movement coming toward him. Shadowheart and Lae’zel were bickering over their next steps to take. Apparently, Kagha had not been as cooperative as Zevlor had hoped. He heard it before he saw her. The unashamed laughter, the breathless inhale in her giggles. He could see her face, lit up and smiling before he saw it. Not for the first time in a week had he felt his insides stir. The first time was not long after they had met on the beach.

She had failed to notice him when he pounced and forced her into the sand with a dagger to her throat. Shocked at the move but showing no fear in her eyes, she had answered all his questions before their minds had connected. She had seen a bit of his past and he had seen a bit of hers. He had felt the fear and loneliness in the Underdark, the excitement of the surface air on her bare skin, the pain of the sunlight on her skin and the glare in her eyes, the absolute terror of the tadpole going into her eye. There was a kinship there, more than he cared to realize at the time.

She was heavier than most elves, perhaps belaying some non-drow ancestry. It seemed to make no difference in her movements. She could keep up with him without much effort. Her clothes however clung to her in places that would normally not have on a normal elf. The roundness of her thighs and ample chest were made all the more obvious that her current clothes were not her own.

_She must not have been on the surface long before she was taken_ , he wondered. Drow imbued their items with magic that deteriorated under the sun. Her clothes must have burned away.

The giggles grew closer and as he looked up; his jaw came slightly open. She had taken her robe off and had it draped over her arm. The shirt she had on was tight on her chest and rose and fell with her laughter. Her pants were loose but still hugged her thighs like a glove. She was chatting with a human who had her complete attention. Gale followed a few steps behind silently watching SiNafae and this new companion speak.

_More likely he’s looking at that magnificent ass…._

“Astarion…this is Wyll. It seems he was also unfortunate in getting kidnapped by the illithids. He’ll be joining us. He’s a monster hunter. Might be good to have him help us find Halsin and also get him cured.”

“I’m sorry, did you say monster hunter?”, Astarion paled as the words left his mouth.

“Aye, I am but it’s the gobos that have to worry about that. Name’s Wyll, the Blade of Frontiers.”

“So I’ve heard. Charmed.”, Astarion gritted his teeth. _Fucking great. A monster hunter, though not a particularly bright one._ Something about him seemed arrogant, almost as one behaves around common folk. A noble perhaps? What are the odds he’d run into one out here of all things? Lucky for him, Wyll’s human. It’s unlikely his family would know of Astarion given his disappearance 200 years ago. Had he been elven, he might not have been so lucky.

“Thanks to Wyll I was able to find some better fitting clothes. Gale said they fit me well.” SiNafae grinned as she looked at Gale, “unless he was lying to have me try on more outfits.”

“What!? I would never…Fae…please, you make it appear like I’m a pubescent boy.” Gale stammered.

_Fae?_ Astarion bristled at the familiarity of her name.

She turned on her heel and poked a finger into Gale's chest.

“I’m not a pubescent girl who’s easily faltered either Gale. I’m old enough to be your grandmother if not your great grandmother. I know what you’ve been doing back there, and if…” She pulled her lips closer to Gale’s ear and whispered lower that only Gale could hear. The words she spoke and the wave of her hand into an electric spark made the color in Gale’s face pale and then brighten two shades darker.

Wyll cleared his throat, “It’s going to be dark soon. We should head to camp and eat before we turn in for the night. I found a nice wine that might go well with any fish we might be lucky enough to catch.”

As Wyll and SiNafae walked past Astarion, he noticed a slightly bemused smile on her face. His gaze turned to Gale, who had a slightly less red face and was holding his mouth closed.

“Ahem,” Gale said as he cleared his throat, “who knew drow women were so….” At a loss for words, Gale dropped his hand to his side and walked toward the door their party had left by.

_What the absolute Hells?_ Astarion collected his thoughts and met the others at the ward wall.

Back at camp, they quickly pitched the new tents that Zevlor had provided for. It was the only way he could thank them for trying to help. Wyll and SiNafae made quick work of fishing. Gale had the fish cooked and set in no time. Although they didn’t say it openly, both Shadowheart and Lae’zel appreciated the food. Astarion picked at the fish and attempted to eat it. Once he was sure no one noticed he hadn’t eaten he threw it into the fire. The pain of not having blood was beginning to weigh on him. He would need to eat something soon. He volunteered for first watch. He met some resistance from Lae’zel but even she was beginning to wavier. No longer in the Astral Plane, even she would have to rest.

He made sure everyone was asleep before he snuck off. He needed blood now, any blood but lots of it. He heard boars off in the distance and set off hunting them. Soon he found his prey. He was upon it before it had any chance to flee. It would have to do for now. Luckily, the boar was fat and full of blood. He drained it and felt the life return to him. It wasn’t enough, he still hungered. The crippling, twisting pain was gone but he still hungered. He was getting slower, weaker. Cazador would have given him enough to survive but somehow the tadpole had made him unable to manage with the same amount. Perhaps he needed a different kind of blood.

_Rule One: Thou shalt not feed on thinking creatures_

Astarion lay his head into his hands. Even here in the middle of nowhere, he was still bound to his master. _Damn it._


	2. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SiNafae goes missing in the night. Astarion finds her in an interesting position.

Astarion made his way back to camp slowly. He had wandered farther than intended. Looking up at the stars he realized it was still many hours till dawn. The sky was so clear and calm with only the light of the full moon shining brightly. The shadows of the trees concealed him as he approached the camp. The fire had dwindled a bit and he added more wood to it. As he glanced around, he realized the only tent open was SiNafae’s. Approaching it, he quickly noticed it was empty. Her boots, shirt, and pants lay on her bedroll and her hair ribbon was looped around her spellbook.

Astarion panicked slightly. _Where in the Hells would she go with just her robe on? Did she get taken by something and these sleeping fools hear nothing? Maybe she was knocked unconscious and dragged away without being able to cast an alarm._

He heard a branch snap in the distance. _There, they couldn’t have taken her far._ He ran toward the sound as silently as he could. He could hear the footsteps and splashing of water as he drew closer. They were next to the river. He crept closer to the noise as he unsheathed his dagger. Peering at the riverbank from behind a tree he looked for SiNafae and her attackers. There was no one around. _How in the Hells?_ Sheathing his dagger, he searched the riverbank. Only one set of footprints and her robe lay on a nearby rock. He breathed a sigh of annoyance. _By the Hells, she’s fine. She’s just here to…. bathe?_ The tips of his ears heated, and he felt himself blush.

Movement in the water drew his attention. He quickly hid behind the nearest tree. She emerged from the river like a vision of a goddess. Her long, pale yellow hair draped over her body. The wetness of the water dripping from her full lips and chin. The way her dusky skin glistened in the moonlight stilled his mind and sped up his heart. He felt the warmth of his blood begin to pool in his nethers unbidden. He watched her guiltily, completely entranced. Her next movement surprised him. SiNafae raised her arms to the moon and began to dance. As she twisted and jumped, more droplets fell from her hair and body. They never touched the ground, however. Instead, they became suspended in the air and sparkled like stars. The moonlight brightened around her, giving her a ghostly appearance.

He had thought himself above lust and desire. Cazador used him to bring that out in the prey he sought and never felt it truly for himself. For over 200 years he merely acted on the feelings given by his master. This was new and caught him off guard. He felt himself ache against his trousers and the tree he hid behind. Even more, guilt began to gnaw at his stomach. He turned to leave and instantly stepped on a branch. Cursing the gods, he tried to recover and keep moving but found he couldn’t. She had him trapped. SiNafae came into view seconds later still completely naked. Her arm outstretched in a spell; her eyes clouded over.

“Astarion?”, she cooed, “The goddess grants me a vision of my desire? How cruel.”

He gulped, she seemed to be in a trance. “SiNafae… darling, I...”

She pressed her hand to his lips, “Ssshhh...if you are indeed my vision, let me enjoy it.”, she purred.

She placed her left hand on his cheek as she leaned in and placed a tender kiss upon his lips. _“ **Mrannd’ssinss, dos ph’inthuul ulu l’xta’rl**. (Lover, you are cold to the touch.)_ Strange, but not unwelcome.” He didn’t understand any Drowic, but it sounded oddly loving and tender. He could hear the rushing of her blood, the rich scent of earth and sweat on her skin. The warmth of her body as she pressed herself into him.

_“ **Gi, ka er’griff dos zhahen trantz**. (Oh, if only you were real.)”_, she sighed as she placed her head on his shoulder. He felt her hand upon his thigh, sliding toward his groin. He shivered at her touch. She nuzzled into his neck as she kissed and ran her tongue against his skin. He was completely hard and strained in his clothing. She felt his length and removed him from his restraints. She fondled him in her hand, the warmth and gentle movements stealing his breath. He let out a low moan as she nibbled his ear.

_Gods, this is wonderful._ Her holding spell weakened and he was able to move his upper body. He pulled her closer and devoured her lips with his. He caressed her breasts, her back, her ass with his hands. Moans and hisses of pleasure escaped her lips. Her spell completely broken, he pushed her into the tree he had been hiding behind and pressed into her. She held on tight to his hardness, becoming more forceful and quicker in her movements. He wanted to take her fully and completely against the tree. His fingers found her opening and felt the dampness between her legs. _Perfect._ Astarion slipped his fingers into her and her cry of pleasure nearly had him undone. She bucked and grinded on his hand, her release coming closer with each thrust against his fingers. In turn, she quickened her pace to please him with her movements. They came nearly at the same time. Panting and gasping for air, SiNafae’s clouded eyes began to clear. Astarion placed his hand over her eyes.

“Keep your eyes closed a while longer darling and think of me.”, he whispered into her ear. She nodded as he placed a kiss on her forehead. Withdrawing from her and composing himself once more, he left silently for the camp. He wasn’t sure she would remember any of what had happened, but he most certainly wouldn’t forget it anytime soon. When he returned to camp, Lae’zel was waiting for him.

“Where have you been? I have been waiting for your return for an hour.”, she hissed.

“I heard a strange noise and went to investigate it. It wasn’t anything to concern yourself with. Just some wild animals in a rut.” The pleasure in SiNafae’s face played over in his mind. “In any case, I’m off to meditate. Enjoy the rest of your evening.”


	3. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SiNafae tells Wyll a little about herself that takes a turn for the worse.

“You wield an unusual array of spells. You aren’t a simple wizard, are you?”, Gale pondered during breakfast.

SiNafae raised an eyebrow. “Most wizards are simple, Gale.”

“You wound me, ma ’dam.”, Gale stated as he placed his hand over his heart grinning.

SiNafae rolled her eyes and smiled. “In any case, you are correct. I am not a _simple_ wizard. I am also an acolyte of Eilistraee.”

“Ah, the Dark Maiden. Wasn’t the full moon three days ago?”

“It was. Why? Were you hoping to catch me dancing naked?”, she smirked.

Gale spit out his drink and began coughing and gasping for breath. Wyll patted Gale’s back while shaking his head.

“Sorry mate, she got you there,” Wyll said stifling a laugh.

“Well now, that’s disappointing. I hoped better from you Gale.”, Shadowheart scowled.

“Shadowheart, don’t misunderstand. I was merely asking a question of a scholarly nature.” Gale’s face was pleading and strained in a mild panic.

“Whatever.” Shadowheart stood and walked back to her tent.

“Damn...”, he sighed.

“Gale, I took my teasing too far. I’ll talk to her and...”

Gale held up his hand, “You’ve done enough, please just let it be. I’ll try talking to her later once she cools off.” He finished his drink and went to his tent.

“I’m sure it will be fine,” Wyll said as he handed SiNafae more eggs. “I thought you knew he liked her.”

“I knew he fancied her; I just didn’t realize he cared for her that deeply. I feel like an ass.”

“Let’s talk about something different. Something to lighten the mood. How about you tell me more about yourself.”

SiNafae’s expression darkened. “It won’t lighten the mood by any means, but I can tell you about it if you like.”

“Ah,” Wyll reached for the wine next to him and poured two cups, “to courage then.”, he toasted.

She raised her cup to his, “To courage indeed.” Gulping down her wine, she closed her eyes and sighed.

“I was born in Sshamath. It’s unusual as far as drow cities go. Instead of it being ruled by the Church of Lolth and the matron mothers it’s ruled by a conclave of wizards. Our major income comes from the trade of all things magical. Non-magical people make up the bulk of our slaves though there are indentured servants. We are near Darkhold. It’s a quite profitable exchange.”

“So, you are a noble then?” Wyll asked.

“Gods no. My family are merchants. We are part of the Jeweler’s guild located in Jacinth Rose. It’s well known in Cormyr.”

“You kept slaves?”

“There are slaves in Sshamath, so yes a few.”

Wyll crinkled his nose.

“Wyll, these slaves are a part of life. A few are indentured and once they repay their debt are freed. Valuable slaves are treated well. Those who commit crimes are made slaves for life. Those rare few who commit higher offenses are killed or given to the Zhentarim and usually end up in Thay. You would rather be dead than go to Thay.”

“I…”, Wyll looked at the ground, “I’ve heard about how the Thay keep slaves. I just assumed all slaves are treated that way.”

SiNafae coughed and looked up into the sky. “In most places, I’m sure they are. I might have been sent to Thay myself eventually.”

“What?”, he looked up at her in surprise.

“I was enslaved for a time, Wyll. Sixty or so years.”

“Why?”

“We are raised to be competitive, ambitious, paranoid, and cruel. Weakness is not tolerated. Murder between family members is expected to the point it’s encouraged.”, SiNafae frowned, “As long as you’re not caught.”

“You don’t have to say anymore if you don’t want to.”

“It’s fine. This happened ages ago. Fifty or so, I think. I’ve moved past most of it.”

“Fifty or so? How old are you anyway?”, Wyll mused.

“Older than you by a lot.”, she sighed, “As of a month ago I’m 185. I’m still quite young compared to many of the fair folk. Astarion is probably older than me.”

“As much as I love hearing you say my name darling, don’t get ahead of yourself.”, Astarion purred from behind her. His face was expressionless, but his red eyes sparkled. He was laughing at her. There was a small smirk on his lips as he sat next to her.

“Well go on. Regale us with the account of this murder you committed. How did you do it? Traps, dagger...poison?”

She placed her chin in her palm as her violet eyes flashed. “Are you finished?”

Astarion’s smirk deepened into a smile. “Perfectly.”

“It was a dagger through the heart. It wasn’t painless but quick. It was more than he deserved.” Her voice was cold and emotionless but to Astarion he heard…regret.

“Who was he?”, Wyll asked inching forward.

“My teacher, the only person who cared for me…my father.”

“Your father?”, Wyll sputtered, “Why...”

“He was weak!”, SiNafae cried out, her eyes taking on an amber hue. “The weak do not survive the Underdark! Do not mistake the kindness I show you as such. I keep you all alive to keep me alive. If you were of no use to me, I would not require you.”

Wyll opened his mouth to refute her outburst. _Shut it Wyll. Keep silent if you value your life, you fool. You are walking a dangerous line._ Astarion screamed at Wyll in his head.

SiNafae stood up breathing heavily. Astarion could hear the pounding of her heart, the panic in her breath.

“I will not be condemned by a child who sold his soul to a devil for nothing but his own selfishness and greed!”

Lae’zel, Shadowheart, and Gale had all emerged from their tents by now. Lae’zel had her arms across her chest, frowning at the noise. Gale’s mouth lay open in shock while Shadowheart hid her face in her hands shaking her head.

Wyll sat back and shifted uncomfortably. “You are right. I apologize.”

“I need to go.”, she sighed, her lips trembling. She turned and walked out from the camp into the ruins beyond.

Wyll watched her leave in silence. Once she was out of earshot, he glanced to Astarion. “Will she be ok by herself?”

“She’s a drow, Wyll. She’s stronger than she looks.”, Astarion retorted. He was also partly to blame for her anger. She clearly wasn’t as over it as she claimed.

“Drow or not, she’s also not as cruel as she tries to be. I’ll go check on her.” Wyll stood and began to walk toward the ruins. Astarion grabbed his arm to stop him.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea just yet. You’ve seen what she can do with her fire spells. It would be a shame if she burnt you to cinders. I can be quieter than you. She won’t notice me, where if you go charging in there to play the hero, you will most certainly face her wrath head-on, so to speak.”

Wyll’s face dropped and his skin paled. He had indeed seen her spells in battle. The last band of goblins in the deserted town had not fared well. A few had taken flames directly to the face, incinerating them completely. The sword she wielded was just as deadly. She had managed to partly decapitate a bugbear that had been leading some goblins in the forest.

“You know what, you’re right. I think I’ll leave this to the experts. Luckily, she left her sword in her tent.”, Wyll nodded.

“It makes her no less dangerous.”, Astarion remarked. He would have to be cautious. There would be no saving him if she incinerated him. He doubted the party would pay the Talking Skeleton to revive him.


	4. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party moves forward toward the deserted village. An odd boar is spotted on the road.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After rewatching the game footage, I used what I could to make the scene. Many thanks to Larian Studios for this awesome game.

The sky was overcast, and the shadows were long. Astarion crept into the ruins slowly, silently, and very aware of the danger he was in. He heard light sobbing from within, he could smell the tang of freshly spilled blood. He inhaled the scent deeply. His sanguine hunger roared into life, making him bristle. _Collect yourself. She will defiantly kill you if you attack her. Make this quick and go feed on something a lot less dangerous._

He inched further into the ruins and found her curled into a corner. The wall was bloody from being hit. Tracing the stains down he noted her knuckles broken and bleeding. _Gods, it would be so easy…_ His stomach growled. _Shit._ She looked up, tears in her eyes, frowning. She wiped her face with her hands, smearing blood across her face. Astarion could feel his teeth throb, he bit into his bottom lip to control himself.

“I’m alright. I made quite the spectacle back there. I’m sure you’re enjoying yourself.” SiNafae mumbled looking at the ground.

“Not as much as you think. We all have things in our past we try to forget, some more so than others.” His brain was on fire, he needed to leave and feed now! “Here, you’ve made yourself a bloody mess.”, he handed her his handkerchief, “Wipe your face and join the others when you are ready. Don’t worry about them, they’ll get over it. I’ll scout ahead and join you all later.” He nearly ran from the ruins and into the woods. He swore he heard her ask him to stay. He would surely drain her completely if he did. He ran for what felt like an eternity. He heard some boars nearby. His hunger had turned him into a ravaging monster. He killed three boars outright, draining each one completely. His last kill had been on the road. He was tired and decided to just leave it where it lay. There were enough scavengers around that it would be taken care of before too long. After he made his way back to camp, they all packed and returned to the grove. A few sympathetic druids agreed to help delay the ritual for a few days. Kagha was not well-liked and if Halsin could be returned alive they would be incredibly grateful. Getting directions from the expedition members they made their way toward another deserted town nearby.

Astarion walked next to Gale and hummed, “I do enjoy our walks together, don’t you Gale?”

Gale looked away from Astarion uncomfortably and rubbed the back of his neck. “Um sure. In silence.”

SiNafae pulled her smile tight to stifle her laughter. Astarion looked back at her and winked. He was in a talkative mood this morning and decided to make the most of it.

Astarion turned to Wyll. “A question for our master monster hunter. How would you approach killing a vampire?”

“To start? Lure it into the sun, drive a stake through its heart. Why?”

“Just curious. Ever hear of a vampire called Cazador, Wyll?”

“Doesn’t ring a bell. Why?”

“He’s patriarch of the Szarr family.”, Gale began, “Nasty fellow if the histories are accurate.”

“I imagine they are.”, Astarion sighed. “Lae’zel, you know about these parasites. Will we survive them?”

“Only if my people extract them. The only other cure is the blade.”, Lae’zel stated flatty.

“Okay, wonderful.” This was getting depressing.

Shadowheart sighed, “You know what I miss about Baldur’s Gate? The food. Freshest fish I ever had.”

“I don’t care for fish. Red meat – now that’s a different matter. Rare as can be…dripping.”, just the thought had Astarion’s mouth water.

“Well unless we find a cure you won’t have any teeth to chew it with soon enough.”

“I miss the taverns. I could always find something interesting to do. Especially in the Purple Wyrm Inn and the Elfsong. Of course, my favorite place is the Calim Jewel Emporium. It’s where I got this.” SiNafae stopped and pulled out an opal the size of a silver piece from her robe’s collar. The sunlight shone in the stone revealing a rainbow of colors across its surface. It was held in a silver pendant surrounded by four moonstones as pale as fresh snow.

“You bought that there?”, Gale gaped, “it looks like it cost a fortune.”

“It was relatively cheap since I had all the materials with me.”

“How did you acquire such beautiful gemstones?”, Shadowheart mused as she held the pendant in her hand to look at it better.

“I brought them with me when I left the Underdark.”

“I didn’t mean to bring up bad memories. I’m sorry.”, Wyll shifted uncomfortably.

“I owe you an apology as well. I took out my frustration on you. Some wounds are harder to forget. Or forgive.”

“Indeed. Enough talk. These druids won’t wait forever.” Lae’zel moved forward past them. Shadowheart returned the pendant as she rolled her eyes.

They continued till the sun had moved past noon. They stopped near a clearing that looked like an old hunter’s camp. The sausages and bread weren’t much but it gave everyone enough energy to continue. Farther down the road an object lay across the road.

“What in the Hells is that?”, SiNafae pointed ahead.

“Whatever it is, it’s rather large.”, nodded Gale.

As the party drew closer, Astarion realized it was the boar he had eaten hours earlier. _Fuck. Just ignore it. Move along._

SiNafae drew closer to it and poked it. “Strange. It looks healthy but it’s stone dead.”

“Who cares about some pig? It’s dead – let’s go.”

SiNafae bent down and looked it over.

“The pig’s dead. Staring at it won’t bring it back.”

“I’m aware, Astarion. It’s just really odd.”

“Come on. We’ll never fix these brainworms if we stop and gawk at every piece of carrion you find.”

“But look, it’s completely bloodless. Not a drop of blood anywhere.”, she remarked, “Here, look at these marks. What caused them?”

“I - it’s been drained of blood with the wounds in its neck. It’s been killed by a vampire. They’re ferocious creatures. But don’t worry, I’ll keep watch tonight. We won’t have to worry about nocturnal visitors. Now please, let’s go.”


	5. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party goes against an ogre. It doesn't go well. SiNafae tells Astarion more about her life in the Underdark. We finally get to Astarion's secret.

“Astarion! Watch out!”

The crunch of bone against the ogre’s club was loud. The ogre roared and went for another swing. It lurched halfway down, frozen.

“Move your ass, Astarion!”, SiNafae cried as her outstretched hand shook. She was exhausted, they all were. Astarion moved from the impending swing and took position behind a pillar. The ogre’s club met the floor moments later. The ogre’s rage turned to SiNafae. Gale shot magic missiles at it while Lae’zel swung at its knees with her great sword. Shadowheart finished her incantation and sent divine fire into the ogre’s face. It howled in pain and swung out wildly. It caught SiNafae in the back and sent her crashing into a bookshelf. She slumped to the floor unmoving.

“FAE!”, Astarion yelled.

Wyll summoned dark tendrils from the ground and held the ogre down. Astarion shuffled quickly to the ogre and stabbed in through the back of its skull. It sputtered and gurgled on its blood and fell forward dead. Shadowheart ran to SiNafae and lightly shook her. Shaking her head, she removed a scroll from her backpack, laid her hands on SiNafae’s shoulders, and bowed her head.

Astarion’s legs gave out. _No, she can’t be dead._ He summoned his last remaining strength and made his way over to Shadowheart. He could hear her praying. _NO!_ Shadowheart’s shoulders slumped and she sighed. SiNafae’s dusky skin was ashen and blood shone on her lips. The others gathered behind them.

“Is she...”, Wyll whispered.

SiNafae’s skin darkened a bit and she breathed lightly.

“Thank the gods.”, Gale sighed, relieved.

SiNafae’s lips moved. She smiled weakly. Astarion smiled and began to laugh. They all turned to him.

“What about this do you find funny, elf?”, Lae’zel hissed.

Astarion grinned, “She said if she knew we cared so much for her and that dying would help us stop fighting each other she would have done it sooner.”

Lae’zel cursed in Gith and moved away. Gale and Wyll exchanged looks and smirked.

“Is it safe to move her?”, Astarion asked Shadowheart.

“Give her a few minutes and she should be ok.”, Shadowheart handed him some healing potions, “Here. I got these before we left. I’d heal you myself, but I’m completely spent.”

Shadowheart passed around the remaining potions and sat next to Gale. Within moments her head lulled to Gale’s shoulder. Gale moved his arm around her and placed a kiss on top of her head.

“Let’s all take a short rest before we go back to camp.”, Gale said.

The group nodded in agreement. If they went any further, they would die. Astarion watched SiNafae breathing. He could hear the rasping of her lungs as she inhaled. His shoulder hurt and was sure it had been broken. The potions were working but it would take time. The smell of spilled blood and his injuries made his teeth hurt. He couldn’t feed now much less move. He gave up, he’d worry about it later. He put his head against the wall and sighed. SiNafae murmured as he settled next to her.

“Shh…sweetheart. Just rest for now. We’ll leave in a bit.”

He readjusted to enter a trance. He felt her shift next to him. He opened his eyes in surprise. Looking down at his hands he saw she had placed one of her hands into his. He felt his heart swell like it would burst. He gently squeezed her hand and slipped into his trance.

He heard water being poured. The sloshing and dripping of water being wrung out of cloth. He slowly opened his eyes. It was darker outside, nearly dusk. A small fire and the sound of humming drew his attention. SiNafae was facing away from him. Both her robe and shirt were off, her hand in a bowl next to her. Taking the piece of cloth out of the water, she wrung it out and washed the blood off her skin. The wound on her back was large. It would leave a heavy scar. Looking closer at her back he noticed the lashing marks across her back and arms. She had been flayed by the whip. It was a common punishment to whip slaves. The drow took it a step further and used it as a means of teaching wayward children.

“Are all your scars from slavery or just your upbringing?”

“A little of both.” She turned to face him as she put her shirt back on, the fire reflecting in her eyes and on her skin. She sat next to him and relaxed.

“My father was a good man, a rarity among our people. He was cruel when it was required of him. He raised me according to our ways but was as lenient as he could get away with. I know he did it to raise me properly and keep up appearances. We met many different people through our trading. I imagine that’s how he was introduced to Eilistraee. Eilistraee is still a taboo goddess to worship openly, even worse if in public. I must have been almost forty by then. My older brother helped run the shop and my older sister had her own family by the time I was born. My magical talent and precociousness made me difficult to raise. My father took it upon himself to teach me, sent me to the Enclave, and kept me out of trouble. He also taught me about Eilistraee. When my brother died, my father became withdrawn.”

“I was around one hundred when my father told me his plan to escape. He said we were being watched more closely and that we might be killed or taken away soon. He told me he had hidden goods away and we would try to make it to the surface. He took me toward the outskirts and told me how to find his cache. They must have been watching us more closely than he realized. They were upon us before we made it too far out of the city. I didn’t have a choice. My father was old and sick by now. He wouldn’t survive the torture. I grabbed his dagger and plunged it into his chest. I’m a wizard and any being that can cast spells is considered a free person in Sshamath. I became a slave and put in spellbinding chains and sent to the deep rothe fields. I, however, don’t like to obey commands that I felt were unnecessary. I worked the fields and for seventy-six years I waited to escape. I heard that a Thayan wizard was looking for some slaves, especially ones that could cast magic for his experiments. I knew I’d be on that list and be sent to Thay, so I ran.”

Astarion tsked, “You finally found your spine.”

She turned to him frowning. “I was scared. Scared and ashamed. I had killed the one person who cared for me. I felt like a failure. I still do at times.”

“Yet here you are. If that’s failing darling, you are incredibly good at it.”

SiNafae smirked. “I guess that’s true. I did find the cache he had left for me. The gems were inside with some gold and a map to the surface. It took me a year to make it out.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow. “Why a year?”

“I... um...was still shackled and I got lost.”

“You got lost?”

“I’d never left home before. The Underdark is confusing, lonely, and dangerous. You try doing it alone and shackled.”

Astarion raised his hands grinning. “Fair enough, go on.”

“I made it to the surface three years ago. The shackles couldn’t withstand the sunlight and broke after a week. I got lucky and found some travelers who weren’t afraid of me being a drow and they took me in. They brought me to Baldur’s Gate. I didn’t have a lot of money so I did whatever jobs I could find. I was given clothes by strangers as mine burned away. I was headed to Calim when I was taken.”

She looked into his red eyes. “Are you ok?”

“A little sore but I’m alright. Why do you ask?”

“You seem paler than usual. Your eyes seem pained. Are you sick?”

“No. I’m fine really. I’m just very tired from all that happened today.”

“Of course.” She searched his face. If she knew he was lying, she didn’t show it.

“Ok. Let’s wake the others and get back to camp. There is still some deer stew left. We’re lucky Gale can cook, or we would’ve died from starvation by now.” Some stew would help, hopefully enough to be able to find a small deer later. He had lost a lot of blood today. The remainder of the stew gave everyone enough energy to trudge back to their tents and sleep. SiNafae and Astarion stayed close to the fire.

“Are you not tired? You look exhausted.”, Astarion whispered.

“I’m beyond exhausted. The sky is beautiful tonight though and I want the fire to warm my back. It hurts a bit, and the fire will relax me. Are you still fine to keep watch?”

“Wyll will take over before dawn, I’ll rest then. Sleep tight, I’ll be around if you need me.”

“Ok. Good night, Astarion.”

He tried to hunt several times. He couldn’t get close. _Damn it!_ He made his way back to camp starving. SiNafae still lay with her back turned to the fire. Her breathing was even, and her heartbeat was peaceful. She was deep into her trance. He saw the trace of small red dots on her shirt and smelled her rich scent. His teeth throbbed in pain. _She’s so tired. Just a small bite. Just enough…_ he felt incredibly guilty, but he couldn’t resist anymore. He edged closer and put his hand gently on her shoulder and leaned into her neck. She turned and glared at him.

“ _Shit_.”

“Astarion?”

“It’s not what it looks like I swear.”

“It looks like you were going to kill me.”, her eyes narrowing.

“I wasn’t going to hurt you. I just needed…well, blood.”

SiNafae blinked, her eyes wide in surprise. “What? Why would you…? Oh, **_ussta che_** _(my love)._ The boar we found; it was yours.”

“I’m not some monster. I feed on animals. Boar, deer, kobolds…whatever I can get. I’m just too slow right now. Too weak. If I just had a little blood, I could think clearer, fight better. _Please_.”

“Why me?”

Astarion looked at the ground. “Honestly, you were the closest thing nearby.”

She looked away from him. “I see.”

_Hells. You aren’t doing yourself any favors by being honest._

“Astarion, why were you starving yourself? You can always come to me. You should have said something sooner.”

“At best you’d say no. More likely, you’d ram a stake through my ribs. I needed you to trust me. You can trust me.”

“I do trust you, Astarion.”

“Thank you. Can I ask you to trust me a little bit more? I only need a little blood.”

SiNafae turned her back toward him. He sighed heavily and turned to leave.

“Where are you going? Come over here. I only ask that you don’t drain me completely. The others won’t be as forgiving as I will.”

Astarion smiled, surprised. “Really? Of course.” He held her neck tenderly. She shivered as he came closer. He heard her gasp as he bit into her neck. Her blood was warm and coursed through him. He heard her whimper as he fed more forcefully. He felt as if he could melt away.

“Astarion.”

“Hhmmm…oh.”, Astarion wiped the blood off his lips with his fingers and licked them. “That was…amazing. My mind is finally clear. I feel strong. I feel…happy.”

SiNafae shivered a bit and took the handkerchief out of her pocket and put it against her neck. “I look forward to seeing you fight.”

Astarion smirked, “Shouldn’t take long. So many people need killing. Now, as invigorating as you are, I need something more filling.” He turned to walk away.

“Be careful with my blood.”, she giggled lightly.

He looked over his shoulder to her. “This is a gift. I won’t forget it.”

“Nor will I.” SiNafae felt him leave. It had been a long day indeed. She still felt like she could have done more. If she had put the pieces together sooner, perhaps Astarion wouldn’t have had to suffer for so long. She made a mental note to ask him later how often he would need to feed.


	6. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after Astarion bites SiNafae, the party makes a decision and SiNafae gives Astarion some interesting information.

“Good morning.”, SiNafae smiled at Astarion. “How do you feel?”

“Good morning. I feel incredible. How do you feel?” Astarion was beaming. The thought of her blood rushing through him filled him with happiness. Perhaps that was why blood from thinking creatures was forbidden. It was a rule he was glad to have broken.

“I feel slightly lightheaded.”

“It will pass. Just be glad I’m not a true vampire.”, Astarion purred.

Gale came by SiNafae to speak with her and noticed the dark bruise on her neck. The scabs on her neck obvious. She reached to hide them.

“Oh, gods! SiNafae, your neck! Astarion, I thought you said you would be keeping watch last night!”

“Gale, calm down.”, SiNafae hissed, “I’m fine.”

She looked back at Astarion, “I won’t turn, will I?”

Gale’s mouth fell open. “You? Of course, it’s you. It all makes perfect sense now.”, he spat. Astarion sighed heavily annoyed.

“To answer your question, darling. No, you won’t. Lucky for you I’m a vampire spawn. All of the hunger with few of the powers.”

“This is insanity.”, Gale mumbled. SiNafae rolled her eyes as the rest of the party was told.

“Enough! After everything we’ve been through so far, I expected better. He could have attacked us and bled us dry in our sleep at any time. Instead, he’s been starving. He didn’t attack me; I gave him my blood willingly.”

“Why would you do that? He’s a vampire. He’s dangerous.”, Wyll asked.

“He needed my help. I would have done the same for any of you. I would rather fight next to a vampire than against one. His skills are useful and there isn’t one of you that has had to worry if there was a knife at your back. I care about all of you and this twisted, messed up family we find ourselves in is stronger together than separately. We need each other. If any of you think you can do better alone then please do so.”

Astarion hadn’t expected to be defended, much less trusted as deeply as she trusted him. The others looked chastised. Weirdly, they were family. A family of misfits brought together to turn into mind flayers. It was all divinely tragic.

“So how will you feed now? We’re all off-limits.”, Shadowheart spoke defiantly.

“No innocents. Just people who need killing. If I drain the occasional bandit, what’s the harm. They’re good as dead anyway.”

“Fine,” Wyll said, “As long as he keeps his fangs off me.”

“Fair warning Astarion, I taste horrible.”, Gale retorted.

“There now, we’re friends again.” Astarion tried not to sound smug. “Now shall we go? We don’t have much longer to find Halsin.”

The others nodded in agreement. They ate a quick breakfast and made their way to the main goblin camp. They traveled mostly in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. SiNafae cursed to herself. She was still weak from briefly dying and then giving Astarion some of her blood. She slowed and lagged behind. She stumbled on the cobblestone road and felt herself falling. She felt an arm grab onto her waist, stopping her fall.

“Are you alright?”

She nodded. She stood up and looked at Astarion’s face. His usual look of confidence, selfishness, and bravado was replaced with actual concern.

“You are a bad liar.”, he frowned.

SiNafae sighed. “We don’t have enough time for me to recover completely.”

“Do you regret it?” His words sounded tense and fearfully, waiting for rejection.

“I regret many things, Astarion.”, She paused and took his hand into hers and squeezed it. Looking into his eyes, she spoke. “I do not regret it. I will never regret it.”

She leaned closer to his ear. “Nor do I regret the night we spent together by the river.”, she cooed.

He felt weak in the knees as she nibbled his ear. She pulled away from him blushing. Looking at his face, she giggled. “It’s nice to see that even you can blush like a virgin.” She let go of his hand and continued walking to the group.

_Well, isn’t she cheeky?_ He smiled to himself honestly. He knew these feelings were his own and no one else’s. He was both excited and terrified. This was a weakness that could be used against him if Cazador ever found him. He would make damn sure he would never be enslaved again.


	7. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party makes it to the ruined temple. SiNafae and Astarion make confessions and Halsin is found.

They heard the music and saw the smoke a mile before they made it to the ruined temple. Most of them were not prepared for the sight when they got there. Nor were they prepared for the smell. Food and drink lay everywhere. Vomit and piss covered areas in corners. Goblins were betting on fights, fighting, and fornicating out in the open. Gale and Wyll covered their noses while Shadowheart gagged heavily. SiNafae snickered a bit.

“Is it the goblins or the temple?”

“Both,” Shadowheart said gagging.

“It would be best to breath in deeply,” SiNafae replied smiling.

“Ugg...I’d rather not.”

SiNafae shrugged, “Suit yourself, but it will be worse inside.”

Shadowheart lost what had remained of her color and retched. Gale and Wyll both gaged at the thought. Lae’zel skin had paled but she held her own, completely disgusted with the surroundings.

“How can you both stand this?”, Gale stammered.

“Hang around in as many bars, brothels, and taverns as I have, and it doesn’t faze you anymore.” Astarion quipped.

“I spent almost eighty years surrounded by this,” SiNafae motioned to the party of goblins, “it reminds me of home.”, she grinned.

“I have more respect for you than ever,” Wyll murmured.

SiNafae laughed, “Thanks Wyll.”

“Can we at least enjoy the party? Who knows when we’ll get to have this much fun again?” Astarion smiled a wide, fangy grin.

“Go on Astarion. Try not to overindulge. There are a lot of them about.” SiNafae nodded and waved him off.

“Oh please, darling. Most of these vermin are too drunk to notice a little blood missing.”, his voice was teasing, excited. “If a few die, it’s not like many would notice. All the better later.”

She knew he would be careful as he moved into the mosh pit of goblins, bugbears, and the odd human. The others stood next to her.

“Go mingle, you guys are being suspicious.”

“Must we? As drunk and distracted as they are, we could just kill them easily.”, Lae’zel hissed.

SiNafae glanced around, “Normally I’d agree with you, but we are in more danger than you all realize. Goblins are used as slaves and troops for their betters. They rarely, if ever; are given a reason or permission to celebrate. Especially on this scale. This is a mob. If we act too suspicious or threatening, they will swarm us. They will eat us.”

“What?!”, Gale shouted. Some goblins eyed him before continuing their fun.

“Keep your voice down.” SiNafae hissed. “Yes, I said eat. I know you can’t see it, but they are most definitely cooking someone. Whoever it was, was tortured for days before being killed and chopped up. I can only hope they were dead before that.”

“Gods.”, Wyll whispered.

“The entrance into the temple is ahead. Separate and make your way around. If you are stopped, do not attack. Just assert your dominance over them. They might be followers of the Absolute now, but they will still be submissive if pressed.”

“I’m impressed.”, Lae’zel said.

“I thought you didn’t give compliments.”, SiNafae smiled at Lae’zel.

“Tsck.” Lae’zel rolled her eyes.

“All the same, thank you, Lae’zel.” Lae’zel nodded at SiNafae. A hint of respect was there. It made SiNafae smile bigger.

Astarion had made his way through the party, taking his time. A bugbear here, a human there; he made sure his victims wouldn’t be noticed till later, if ever. He took down the farther out sentries and made his way back to SiNafae’s side.

“You work fast. Satisfied?”, her back was to him as she watched the temple entrance.

“For now, though we can always talk later.”, he purred. He leaned into her neck from behind her. She sighed and leaned back into him. He kissed her bruise, causing her to shiver slightly.

“Give me a day to recover more before you feed.”, she whispered.

“I don’t think that is unreasonable, darling. However, with this many bodies in one place, finding blood shouldn’t be an issue.”

He felt her pulse quicken. “Astarion?”

“Yes?”

“I think I care about you more than the others. I know this is asking a lot of you, but I hope…at least a little…you care for me too.”

He could hear the hammering of her heart and the quickness of her breath, “Fae...”

“Hhmmm…”

“I do care for you. As much as I can give you for now.” He kissed her neck tenderly. He heard her muffled crying.

“That’s…all I can ask of you.”, she struggled to say.

He hugged her tightly. “Are you upset?”, he whispered.

“No. I’m embarrassed and happy.”

“Oh?”, Astarion was amused by her admission.

“I’ve died already, Astarion. If I were to die permanently, it makes me happy to know that you would miss me.”

“The others would miss you too.”

“Yes, I know. I just hope you would carry a piece of my memory in your heart longer.”, she sighed.

“Of course. I would hope you would carry a piece of me in your heart as well.”

She was surprised. Honestly, so was he. The words had fallen from his mouth before he even knew what to say. It wasn’t a lie, and it wasn’t a public declaration of love, but it was a private vow of care. It was enough for them both for now. She turned to face him; he could see the streaks from her tears.

“Dry your tears, the others will be here soon. I don’t want them to think I’ve done something ungentlemanly toward you.”

She scoffed, taking his handkerchief out of her pocket. She wiped away her tears and handed the handkerchief back to him.

“No, no. You keep it for now.” Taking her hand, he kissed it gently.

“Are we interrupting something?”, Shadowheart asked, amused.

Astarion waved off her remark. “Shall we get this over with?”

Bluffing their way into the temple proved easy. They located the sole survivor of the adventuring party being tortured by a goblin named Spike. Wyll explained he had needed to find Spike and get information from him badly. Wyll got his information and took his vengeance on Spike then they freed the prisoner. The truth about his patron Mizora was a surprise but it made little difference to SiNafae. He had proved himself in combat as a capable warlock.

They found a cleric of Loviatar. He offered them penance in her honor, but they all declined. Finding Volo being held in a cage by a goblin was slightly humorous. They freed the bard much to Lae’zel’s disdain. The Zhentarim traders were a wealth of information, they also sold the party some potions. Luring Priestess Gut alone proved a small challenge. She asked many questions and was not happy with the answers given. She called for her guards and a fight broke out between them. It took time but once the room was clear, they all took a short rest.

“Do you see those beams overhead, Astarion?”, Shadowheart pointed at the ceiling.

“Yes?”

“We should try finding a ladder and see if we can skip some of these rooms. I’m sure we made enough noise to draw others this way.”

“Well done Shadowheart. It’s good to know your elven blood still has its use.”, Astarion teased.

Shadowheart pursed her lips. “Bastard.” Her flushed face betrayed her amusement.

Making their way into the rafters, they were able to pass several rooms of goblins and humans. Hearing a pair of goblins talk about a large bear that had been caught and was being held the next floor down, they crept forward and killed the door guards before they could alert others. Upon entering the lower level, they realized there were only six goblins and two very pissed worgs locked up in a cell. The goblins proved easy to deal with, but they had released the worgs. The bear broke free of its cell and helped take down the worgs. The bear soon transformed into a large muscular wood elf.

“Well damn.”, Shadowheart and SiNafae said simultaneously.

Halsin raised an eyebrow. “Well met. I can’t tell if helping a bear out of a cell is a sign of bravery or insanity but thank you.”

“It would seem a little of both,” Lae’zel spoke. The others stifled their laughter.

“Halsin, can you leave on your own? Your grove is in danger.”, Wyll asked.

“No. If you would permit me to join you, I’ll help you clear this blight from this area and make it more secure.”

“Let’s hurry. It won’t be much longer before Kagha finishes the Rite of Thorns.”, SiNafae motioned toward the door.

“She wouldn’t dare!” Halsin yelled.

“Oh, she dares and then some.”, Gale remarked.

“We’ll explain on the way.”, Shadowheart assured him.


	8. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clearing out the temple with Halsin, SiNafae enters a duel. Minor plot in the grove before the Tiefling party. The tadpole makes itself known.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all my drowic I'm using http://www.eilistraee.com/chosen/language.php

Having a druid who could turn into fearsome animals was extremely useful and fun. The palpable terror Halsin was causing among the cult of the Absolute was inspiring. Astarion being at full strength and striking his foes who were too slow to keep up was satisfying as well. While both Halsin and Astarion laid waste to the cult, Shadowheart took some time to do some light desecrating to Selune’s last remaining icons. Lae’zel was able to show off her battle prowess as she cut a path through the goblins with her great sword. Wyll and Gale became inseparable, switching hitting, and watching each other’s back. SiNafae spent her time taking down stragglers with her bow and sword. She kept her spells to a minimum to not tax her weakness. The sword in her back made her pause.

“My followers told me they had seen another drow recently. I find it odd I don’t recall enlisting your help. I can sense you are a True Soul as well, yet you slaughter the Absolute’s servants. How dare you defile this place, traitor!”

Turning around, SiNafae looked the drow woman in the eyes. “I saw your spiders. Tell me, does Lolth know you have her children in service of another? Do you think we should ask her?”

The woman’s eyes widened at SiNafae’s question. SiNafae felt the others behind her. Halsin’s bear form growled as the others began to approach her. SiNafae tossed her bow to Wyll.

“Hold on to that for me.”, she grinned. She turned back to the woman and signed to her.

_I’m a bit out of practice but shall we settle this in the old ways?_

The woman signed back, _To the death._

SiNafae nodded as she spoke, “To the death. Your name?”

“Minratha”, she said holding her head high, “of Menzoberranzan.”

“SiNafae of Sshamath”, SiNafae replied as she readied her sword, “I would suggest the rest of you move back. This will get messy.”

Minratha attacked first. SiNafae wasn’t lying when she said she was out of practice. She dodged the attack but caught Minratha’s sword edge in her shoulder.

**_“Dos ph’kiel. Do xuat rytho’le l’bel’la d’malarin uns’aa._ ** _(You are slow. You don’t deserve the honor to fight me.) **”**_

**_“Usstan xuat kyon bauth ussta bel’la ulu malar xor naut._ ** _(I don’t care about my honor to fight or not.) **”**_

SiNafae’s hand erupted into an orb of flames and she threw it at Minratha. Minratha dodged out of its way but was surprised when it followed her and stuck her in the back, burning her.

**_“Vel’bol golhyrr zhah nindol?_** _(What trickery is this?) **”**_ , Minratha hissed.

SiNafae huffed, slightly winded. **_“Nau golhyrr, fridj folbol ussta ilharn keer uns’aa._** _(No trickery, just something my father taught me.) **”**_

Minratha spat and summoned a dire wolf to her, SiNafae dismissed it. “Spells and weapons only, no pets.”

SiNafae summoned webbing and covered Minratha in them. She struggled and cursed. Calling down fire, Minratha tried to engulf SiNafae but she leaped out of the way. The room took on a chill as ice crystals began incasing the webbing.

“I AM A HIGH PRIESTESS OF THE ABSOLUTE! YOU WILL DIE!”

“I’ve already died. You are late.”

SiNafae rammed her sword into Minratha’s skull, killing her. She felt the tadpole inside her brain quiver. She dropped her sword and fell to her knees. She breathed heavily, grimacing in pain as sweat dripped onto the floor.

“Are you ok?”, Wyll asked.

She nodded weakly, “I overdid it.”

They made their way back to the ward wall they had found in the deserted town and entered the grove. The druids and tieflings were overjoyed to see Halsin. Kagha heard the commotion and paled when she noticed Halsin had returned. A few druids saw the poor state SiNafae was in and took her to see Nettie. The rest of the party were shown to a side chamber. They were given food and a tub to bathe. Clean clothes were provided while the tiefling smith took their armor and weapons to make repairs.

They all had a go in the bath and felt their bodies relax and their wounds heal. Astarion was last to bathe as he was wary of the bath at first, he didn’t want to run the risk of burning. He tested the water with the tips of his fingers and breathed a sigh of relief when he didn’t burn. It had been two centuries since he had been able to enjoy a soaking bath. He prided himself on his appearance. He stayed as clean as he could, but bathing was a challenge. It took him almost an hour to wash his body with a cloth to his satisfaction. This was a blessing; he could stay in the water for an eternity. He overheard some druids speaking nearby.

“Thank the Oak Father Master Halsin is back. He’s demoted Kagha to acolyte. He should have banished her.”

“Agreed but Master Halsin knows what’s best for us. Those people who brought him back are the same ones that came here two weeks ago. They saved us and those tieflings a lot of grief and death.”

“That drow girl is in bad shape. It’s a shame. Master Halsin and Nettie are trying to heal her now.”

Astarion quickly got out of the tub and got dressed. He headed into the infirmary as he heard Halsin talking to Nettie.

“The wound on her back is infected. Get me the sharpest blade, the healing herbal paste, and some cloth. Bring the catgut as well.” Nettie nodded and walked by Astarion to gather the supplies.

“Halsin, what is going on?” Astarion looked around the infirmary. SiNafae lay on her stomach with her back exposed. The wound was puffy, red, and oozing. She squirmed; her skin glistened with sweat. Nettie brought the items to Halsin. As he took the blade and approached SiNafae’s back, Astarion grabbed his wrist.

“What are you doing?”, Astarion hissed. Halsin looked at him and sighed.

“I’m going to drain the infection so I can clean out her wound and sew it close. Unless you prefer your lover to be in pain and die.”

Astarion released Halsin’s wrist, “I’d prefer her alive and not in pain if you please.” His tone was icy and threatening. Halsin and Nettie began their work. Astarion sat nearby waiting. He could do nothing but watch.

Remembering her fight with Minratha, he found himself impressed at her abilities and angry at himself. She had struggled during the fight; she must have been in extreme pain. She had managed to win but now she lay here helpless.

As Halsin and Nettie continued to work, he could smell the infection. He cursed himself for not noticing sooner. He cursed even harder when he remembered he had fed from her the same night she had been hurt. _You reckless idiot._ He should have tried harder to resist. He sighed. He knew that wasn’t true. He had tried, if she hadn’t been by the fire he would have gone after any of them in their tents. He looked up when he heard Nettie chanting. Halsin finished sewing the wound closed. He cleaned the area, placed the herbal paste, and bandages on her. Halsin chanted and the warmth of light shone upon the dressings.

“There, she will be fine in a few days.” Halsin looked at Astarion. He sent Nettie away as he motioned for Astarion to come closer. Once he was sure Nettie was gone, he stared at Astarion angrily. “I’m surprised to see a vampire that can walk in the sun. It must be from your tadpole.”

“You knew about me?”

“As soon as I smelled you, yes. The scent of death lingers on you. Animals and some druids can smell it. What hold do you have on her?”

“None at all. I’m a vampire but I’m only a spawn. As to my hold over her, you’d have to ask her. She has a hold on me, I’m sure.”

“I see. Well, in any case, do not feed on her for a week.”

Astarion raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“She kept telling me she had given you permission. I didn’t understand what she meant till we took her shirt off. She threatened to burn the grove down if anyone harmed you, Astarion. You should be grateful for her trust in you.”

Astarion’s heart fluttered, “I am forever grateful.”

Halsin nodded, “She’ll sleep for a few hours. You should get some rest yourself. It’s been a long day for all of us.”

Astarion pulled a chair up to the headboard of her bed and sat by her head. He gently moved her hair behind her ear. She crinkled her nose and sighed. He watched her breathe for some time before he settled into his trance.

His nightmare was upon him. Cazador had him once more. He was forced to kill the party except for SiNafae. He watched in horror as Cazador raped her and drained all the blood from her body.

He woke to himself silently screaming. It was all too real. The absolute terror and despair settled into his stomach. He looked down in a panic. His relief was great when he saw that she still lay on the bed. A frown formed on her face and her pulse quickened. She began to cry out and repeat words in Drowic. He stroked her hair to soothe her. She woke up sobbing. She tried to move off the bed, but he held her down. She glared up at him.

“Your back has been sewn shut. Move slowly. I’ll help you up.”

He grabbed her arms and helped her forward and onto her side. It was only then he remembered her breasts were exposed. He grabbed a sheet and wrapped it around her.

“Astarion?”, she whispered.

“Yes, my love.”

“Hold me, please.”

He got up and placed himself behind her as she sat up. She leaned back onto his chest and sighed. Her shoulders shuttered and she labored for breath. Astarion wrapped his arms around her. He felt the wetness of her tears as they fell on his arms.

“Ssshhh...It’s ok. Go ahead and cry. It’s alright.” He placed a kiss on top of her head and gently rocked her. She curled into him as she cried. It pained him with the depth of her sorrow. His thoughts turned to his dream and caused him to tear up. He would do everything he could so that it would never become a reality. Before long, they both were asleep holding each other.

“Good on ya, mate.”, Wyll nodded as he looked into the infirmary. He pulled the curtain closed and left to rejoin the others. He had wanted to invite Astarion for some wine but what he was doing was much better. He dared not to disturb the sleeping elves.


	9. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SiNafae and Astarion play hide and seek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The elven translator used https://lingojam.com/CommontoElvish%28D%26D%29
> 
> I can find Tolkien elvish everywhere but dnd elvish is hard to find.

They spent almost a week in the grove. Halsin had convinced them after explaining the tadpole was dormant and that it would help SiNafae heal fully. Somehow the tadpoles were in suspension. They were in no danger of turning anytime soon. Being in no immediate danger eased their minds. The rush for a cure lessened but was still necessary. They were warned not to overuse their illithid powers however as it could negate the suspension. After spending two days confined to her sickbed, SiNafae had had enough. She promised Nettie she would be careful and would rest if she felt tired. After two days inside, the sun felt warm on her skin, though she could do without the glare. It was late summer and the cooling breeze from the river revitalized her spirit.

She walked to the shoreline inside the grove barefoot. As she walked along the shore, waves lapped at her calves. She was glad she had decided on a knee-length tunic than her pants and shirt. Tiny guppies swam near her toes and took nibbles against her skin. She would never have approached the waters in the Underdark. Hidden horrors lay in wait along its shore and in its depths. Only the truly desperate and sick threw themselves into those waters.

The waters at the grove’s shore were cool and clear. She wrapped her hair into a bun. Looking around, she took her tunic off and placed it on a rock nearby. She waded up to her knees, goosebumps covering her skin. The tiny fish followed her as she moved farther into the water. She stopped as the water came to her waist. She cupped her hands into the water and watched as the fish swam in and out as they circled her. It was like watching tiny jewels dance around her. Her bandages had come off a day ago and it left her skin feeling sticky and her scar itched. The tiny fish gently nibbled at her skin, tickling her with their fins. She slowly went further in and stopped as the water lapped against her breasts. The fish moved toward her scar. They nipped and tugged gently at her flesh, removing traces of the herbal paste. She submerged to her shoulders and closed her eyes listening to the water. _I might as well get my hair wet._ She took her hair down and floated on her back. She could feel the fish moving through her hair as they nibbled on the points of her ears and the tips of her fingers.

She felt completely relaxed and happy. She lay in the water watching the clouds for a time. She was sure she would be sunburnt before too long. She stood and made her way back to the beach. She was watching the fish follow her and didn’t notice the shadow in front of her until it wrapped a sheet around her. Looking up startled, her gaze was met by a pair of red eyes and a fangy grin.

She looked away embarrassed, “And how long have you been here?”

“Long enough to be very jealous of some fish.”, he cooed. He lifted her chin with his hand. “Pity I can’t join you in enjoying the water. It looked peaceful.”

“It was...” She noticed he wasn’t wearing his usual doublet but a tan shirt slightly open at the neck. “You look relaxed. Have you been enjoying yourself?”

Astarion shook his head. “Absolutely not. I’m bored to death.”

The edges of her mouth turned up, “You must be very bored since you’re already dead.”

“Indeed. Would you like to play a game with me?”

“What sort of game?”, she blinked amused.

“Hide and seek.”, he grinned devilishly.

SiNafae raised an eyebrow, “Hide and seek? Really? Isn’t that a game children on the surface play?”

“It is, but I assure you there won’t be any children playing.”, the humor in his voice made SiNafae blush.

“I’m not playing naked. That wouldn’t be fair.”

“Though it would be very entertaining.”, he sighed.

“Alright. Where should we meet up for this game?”

“Here put your tunic back on first.” As she put her tunic over her head, Astarion slipped away.

SiNafae uncovered her head as she pulled her tunic down. “Astarion?” She looked around her, but he was gone. “You ass.”, she sighed.

She had a general direction he had gone from his shoe prints in the sand. Following the prints into the grass she frowned. He was lighter on his feet than she was. She saw a small blade of grass bent and headed in the direction it went. She looked around as she walked up a hilly path. A few flowers had fallen in her way. She glanced around but didn’t see him. _Thank you for the pity, you can tell I’m bad at this too._ She paused by some trees as she rounded a bend in the path. She was getting tired and if he decided to find her next, he would win easily. She managed around the bend and came into a secluded grassy area. It had a large shade tree near its edge that opened out into the river. The sheet that she had been wrapped in, laid at its base. _Alright, I’ll bite._ She approached the tree and bent down to gather up the sheet. She felt a presence behind her and threw her left leg out in a sweeping move and knocked Astarion down. He grabbed her arm as he fell, and she let out a yelp of surprise. He landed on his back with a chuckle as she landed on top of him, her hair falling in front of her face. She swept her hair back and his heart fluttered. Her face was flushed as she laughed. He reached up and placed her face into his hand. He gently stroked her cheek as she bit her bottom lip.

“You look gorgeous.”, he whispered.

She rolled her eyes and sighed, “Shut up. I am not.”

“Oh but you are, darling. Gorgeous and intoxicating.”

“Intoxicating? If you just want my blood, you don’t have to be silly about it.”

He sighed heavily, “Honestly there are times I don’t understand you. Can it be possible that I may want you for more than your blood? After the promise we made, I hoped you would return the sentiment.”

She looked down and whispered, “I’m afraid.”

“Are you a virgin?” He would be incredibly surprised if she were.

She shook her head, “No, that boat sailed a century ago. I do return the sentiment. I care for you more than I have cared for anyone since my father died. I’m afraid to be hurt by losing you too. My heart couldn’t take it.”

“I’m not going anywhere. I am here now, and you are here in my arms.”

“Yes, I am. I don’t feel like moving either. Seems you are stuck under me.”, she smiled coyly.

“Oh no, whatever will I do?”, he teased.

She readjusted as her bare lower half settled on top of his lap. She rocked forward a bit and he hissed at the pleasure it gave. “I can think of a few things.”, she whispered. She bent forward and kissed him. He pressed his tongue into her mouth as she rocked harder against him. She could feel him harden under her as she pulled her tunic over her head. He growled at the sight of her bare in the sunlight with her hair reflecting silver and gold. He grabbed her hips as he turned her over onto her back. She giggled as his mouth played with her nipples. He pressed into her and drew a deep moan from her.

“Astarion…please.”

She wanted him to take her. She had opened so much of her heart to him and she felt he had done the same. Her body was on fire, but her mind was beginning to slow. She was beginning to tire out. She swore openly in her mind, cursing the Hells and all the heavens in existence. _Why now? This isn’t fair!_

“Fae…I want to have you. I desire you, but...”

“But?”

“Darling, you look tired. It wouldn’t be right to exhaust you. You are just starting to heal; I would hate it if you got hurt again. Even more so if I was the cause.”

She put an arm over her eyes and sighed, frustrated. “Gods damn it.”

She moved her legs closer, bringing him closer to her. He gritted his teeth and hissed. _“ **Salen aestar** (my love),_ please.”, Astarion frowned.

She released him as he handed her back her tunic. She took it and pulled it back on. Astarion stood up and adjusted his clothes. He held his hand out for her. She took it as she rose from the grass. He pulled her into his arms.

“The tieflings will be leaving for Baldur’s Gate in two days. They want to throw us a party. I’m sure it won’t be much, but they wanted to wait for you to feel better so that you could enjoy it.”

SiNafae pouted, she still felt flushed and the closeness of their bodies made her blood hot all over again.

Astarion looked at her and laughed. “Believe me, I’m suffering as much as you. Chasity makes the heart grow fonder; they say.”

She shot him a glare and snorted. “You better make it up to me.”

He took her hand into his and kissed it, “I promise. Now off you go. Rest well.”

He watched her leave and sighed heavily. There wasn’t enough masturbation he could do to satisfy his need for her.


	10. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SiNafae and Shadowheart have some girl talk. SiNafae thinks about the future.

She sighed as Nettie fussed over her. She had come back more tired than she had expected and still her blood burned. She drank the sour mixture Nettie gave her and gaged slightly at the way it caught in her throat. Nettie said the mixture was a blood strengthening potion that would help her regain her lost strength. The after-effects from her death would lessen as time went on. She’d still be slightly weak but not enough to put her in danger. SiNafae lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling. She thought more about how she got into this situation. If she hadn’t been taken by the mind flayers, she would be in Amn by now.

There were new places to explore and cultures she had read about that she wanted to see. She wondered if Astarion would travel with her. She had made the offer to travel together after the tadpole was removed. She was surprised when he said he would consider it. She never thought she would fall so quickly for anyone, especially for someone who hid his words in conjecture. She realized later he did it as a defensive measure to protect himself. He mentioned he was a magistrate in Baldur’s Gate, so he was familiar with laws and how to gather information from people. The loss of his life and those memories of his past haunted him. His slavery and the pain he suffered was ever-present. There were times when they talked, that he seemed distant. The more she had prodded, the more he would distance himself from her and the others. She decided it best to let him tell her when he was ready. He had opened up as much as he was willing to and for SiNafae it was enough.

“How are you feeling?”

She turned to see Shadowheart in the doorway. She wasn’t wearing her armor but her usual grey tunic.

“Better but my body is weak. Nettie said it’s a side effect of dying. It’s annoying.”

Shadowheart pulled up a chair beside the bed and sat down. She had her hands on her lap and fiddled with her nails. SiNafae was sure Shadowheart wanted to talk but couldn’t find the words.

“You are a capable cleric. I don’t blame you for what happened. I was too close at the time. If anyone is to blame, it’s me.”

Shadowheart sighed, “I don’t usually care about people dying. It’s a part of life. The teachings of Shar tell us to accept and embrace loss.”

SiNafae nodded in understanding. They had been through a lot in a month.

“If this had happened after we met, I wouldn’t have batted an eye. I would have moved on with my life, worked on finding a cure, and forgotten all about you.”

“You think Shar would disapprove?”

“I do.”

“Think of it this way, to ease your mind. Shar has a mission for you, yes?”

“How do you?..”

SiNafae raised a hand to stop Shadowheart from speaking. “I don’t know what your mission is, I assume you have one as a cleric of your faith. It’s not uncommon for a cleric to be given a mission and you said you had business in Baldur’s Gate, so I just guessed.”

Shadowheart sighed, looking at the floor. “Go on.”

“Shar gave you a mission to Baldur’s Gate. Now your mission hasn’t changed since we were abducted but the circumstances you find yourself in have. For you to make it to Baldur’s Gate and complete your mission, you have to be alive to finish it. Helping us all stay alive, keeps you alive.”

“I see. Then why do I feel so guilty?”

“You care about us. It’s not such a bad thing, you are a living being after all. No matter how much you beat feelings out of yourself, you are still a being with a soul.”

“Some living people have no feelings.”

“No, they do, they’ve just found ways to stifle their feelings and redirect it into other emotions. Love to hate, desire to rage, and so forth. I can see those wheels turning in your head, Shadowheart. They are not to be envied but pitied.”

“The undead don’t have feelings.”

SiNafae sat up and looked at Shadowheart, her mouth turned up in a smirk. “I’m sorry, I don’t think you’ve met Astarion. I’ll introduce you.”

Shadowheart rolled her eyes. “Some undead don’t have feelings.”

“I’m sure but I don’t think you want to be a skeleton or a zombie.”

Shadowheart scoffed. She couldn’t win against SiNafae’s logic. Her shoulders slumped. She’d do penance again and hope Shar would forgive her. SiNafae grabbed Shadowheart’s hand and pulled her onto the bed. She looked at the smile on SiNafae’s face and shuttered. “What?”

“So tell me about you and Gale.”

“What?!”, Shadowheart’s face turned pink as she blushed.

“You said you like the strong silent type, but I don’t see you making eyes at Wyll…or Lae’zel”, SiNafae snickered as Shadowheart gaged at Lae’zel’s name.

“Why would I be interested in her? The thought is insulting.”

“Fine, fine. What about Wyll?”

“What about him?”

“He’s young, fit, and overly confident. He might be good in bed.”, SiNafae mused.

“Hmm perhaps, but he lacks interesting conversation. He’s full of himself and his ego.”

“So is Gale, to a degree.”

“But Gale earned that. He’s a deep thinker and extremely intelligent. He’s well versed in many subjects. He tends to ramble on, but most intelligent men do.”

SiNafae nodded in agreement. “So the better option then. I’ve seen how you glance at him. You know he cares about you?”

“I…had an idea. I’m not a person for permanent attachments.”

“Who said it had to be permanent? We could die or turn at any time. Enjoy yourself.”

“What about you and Astarion then? You two have been close for weeks. You both have been dancing around each other like a pair of loons.”

SiNafae laughed hard at the thought. It caused her to inhale sharply and cough. Shadowheart placed a hand on her shoulder in concern. SiNafae waived it off.

“I’m fine. Nettie said my lungs are bruised. They’ll be fine in a month. She’s been feeding me this horrible mixture to help me regain my strength. It’s helped but its taste leaves a lot to be desired.”

SiNafae paused and smiled as she thought about Astarion’s vow of care. “I don’t know how to explain it to you. I didn’t set out to become attracted to Astarion. It isn’t out of pity or something underhanded. He has a lot he won’t tell me; he might not be able to. The person he was and the person he is now, are complicated. I care about him as a whole all the same. The words he says and how he acts, I have seen as a mask. On occasion, he lets me see underneath it and I fall for him even more.”

“It sounds exhausting.”, Shadowheart said crinkling her nose.

SiNafae nodded in agreement, “It can be, but I have my own issues, so patience helps.”

Shadowheart nodded, “We all have secrets.”, she sighed, “I guess I should leave for now. I’ll let you rest.”

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Try not to worry too much.”

She watched Shadowheart go as she settled back into the bed. She turned away from the door and closed her eyes. She slowly felt herself ease into her trance as she felt the bed give slightly and a cool body slipped behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. She felt the sigh breathed into her hair. “Sleep well, darling.”, she heard him sigh.

She woke hours later. He still lay behind her, his breathing slow and steady. She slowly turned to face him. His face was relaxed, and his eyes were closed. His silver hair curled and had fallen in front of his face. She leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. _I could stay like this forever._ She caressed his face gently and moved his hair away from his eyes. She didn’t know very much about vampires or vampire spawn. Astarion looked and felt like a living person would, except for the coolness of his body. It was a surprise that he breathed but then you can’t speak without breathing. Liches could speak even when they were mostly bones, perhaps it was magical for liches.

She knew so little about the surface world or her race’s cousins of the Seldarine. She grew up on the stories her people told of how evil the surface world was and how they were punished by the Seldarine for winning the Crown Wars. Yet she had found the opposite to be true. She had read what she could find in the libraries in Baldur’s Gate. A lot of books on the Crown Wars were written in a language she couldn’t read. Learning the common tongue was difficult but she found she knew more words than she originally thought. It helped her find information that had been translated. She had wanted to learn Elven but couldn’t find any elves willing to teach her. Looking back at Astarion she grinned. She had a high elf that seemed smitten with her, she could offer a trade. She would teach him Drowic and sign language in exchange for him to teach her Elven.

She stifled a yawn. Perhaps she’d ask him in the morning. She closed her eyes and entered her trance again. She had so many things she wanted to know. Once this parasite was gone, she would travel around. She hoped a certain vampire would be by her side.


	11. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale visits and asks for artifacts to eat. SiNafae and Astarion have a discussion about the far future. A talk about sex and more confessions.
> 
>   
> I redid this chapter. I did not like it at all. I like this a lot better. Thanks for your patience.

“I’m sorry, Gale. You said you need artifacts to…eat?” SiNafae sat in her bed confused. Gale had come to see her in a hurry. He had rambled for almost an hour about mistakes he made but he couldn’t get into detail right now.

“In a manner of speaking, yes.”, Gale sighed.

SiNafae pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Astarion sat in his chair beside her amused.

“Astarion feeds on blood and now you need to feed on artifacts. What’s next? Flying monkeys?”

Gale shrugged, “We all have our eccentricities. Ours are just more eccentric than most.”

“You should feel lucky to be traveling with men of taste.”, Astarion smirked.

SiNafae rolled her eyes. “Artifacts only, normal magical items won’t work?”

“Correct. Only objects of immense power will work. I understand the power and value these objects hold. The sacrifice isn’t lost on me. I’ve already found one and consumed it but that was days ago. If we run across any more in our travels, I would be grateful if I could have it.”

“Otherwise the condition will kill you?”, she asked.

“Not just me. It has the power to level the area the size of Waterdeep.”

“Well that’s impressive and useful.”, Astarion mused.

“Useful how?”, Gale asked.

“Imagine we find ourselves in a bad situation that we all can’t escape from. You just explode and job done.”

“That’s true but the cost of lives and the complete destruction to the area would be catastrophic. One that is to be avoided. Would you really be fine with that?”, Gale fumed.

“Oh, I don’t know. Depending on the situation, maybe.”, Astarion shrugged.

“Just listen to yourself. How can you be so uncaring?”

“Easily, I try to use any advantage I find.”, Astarion refuted.

“I can understand that, but sometimes the price is too high, Astarion.”

“I would sacrifice everything to be free of Cazador.”, Astarion hissed.

Gale looked at SiNafae and then back to Astarion. SiNafae looked at the floor while Astarion sat in his chair brooding. Gale put his face into his hand and sighed heavily. Astarion’s eyes widened as the realization of what he had said played over in his mind. Gale cleared his throat and told them he’d talk to them later.

Astarion looked at SiNafae, she wouldn’t meet his gaze. Her heartbeat was slow, and her breath was a whisper. She sat in her bed unmoving as she looked at the floor. He moved and sat next to her. He put his head on her shoulder and sighed.

They sat that way for what felt like hours. He felt her run her fingers through his hair. He took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Fae….”

“I would too.”, she whispered.

“What?”

She turned to face him. “I would too. If I was in your place I’d sacrifice the Realms to be free.”

“I didn’t mean you.”

“Don’t, Astarion. If I was the only thing that you needed to sacrifice to be free, do it. You can always find another lover; you can only be free of Cazador once.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t...”, he stammered.

“For what? I’m not mad. If anything I’m relieved.”

“Relieved?”

“I worried about what you would do if you have to choose between me or freedom. I would gladly sacrifice myself for your freedom.”

“This is borderline self-abusive. You are not sacrificing yourself for me. We are not having this conversation. Why are you like this?”

She shrugged, “Penance perhaps for the things I’ve done.”

“You have nothing to redeem yourself for.”

“But..”

“I won’t do it.”

“Why the Hells not?”

“It would destroy me. The only comfort and hope I’ve had in two centuries has been you. I’ve been starved, beaten, raped, and tortured for centuries. It changes a person. I don’t remember a lot about my past life before. It’s like a faded dream. I know I’m hard to be around sometimes. I’m not in the habit of caring about others. You haven’t once allowed me to feel anything less than wanted. You see past the man before you and all the bullshit I put in front of me. You make me want to do better. The only other thing that comes close to making me happy is knowing that I’m currently the most powerful vampire in all the Realms.”

“The most powerful?”

“I can walk in sunlight, enter homes uninvited, and manipulate minds. If I can kill Cazador and control this tadpole I most definitely will be.”

“Ah. Now it makes sense.”, she nodded.

“What does?”

“You are the only one who doesn’t want to get rid of their tadpole. It’s because of the powers it gives you.”

“Not entirely. I’ve lived in the dark for so long. You have no idea how good it feels to be in the sun after all this time.”, Astarion smiled.

“I grew up in the Underdark, so I can’t say I understand it, but I can tell it means a lot to you. The little bit of color you’ve gotten back is nice.”

“Are we done talking about this for now?”

“If we can find a way to let you enjoy the sun without the tadpole, would you get rid of it?”

“I don’t see why not but that’s all a big if. In any case, we have a while to go before we have to worry about all of that. Do you feel well enough for a walk?”

SiNafae nodded, “Yes, please. I feel stifled in here.”

They walked within the grove for a while. Finding a shade tree, SiNafae sat under it and played with the nearby dandelion tops. She blew the seeds into the wind and watched them float away in the breeze. Astarion sat next to her, placing a dandelion behind her ear. She smiled as he lay his head in her lap and watched the clouds move by.

He heard her soft giggle. He looked up to find her watching two butterflies dancing circles around each other in front of her face. He chuckled as one landed on her nose making her eyes cross. She puffed her breath and shooed the butterfly away. The stars began to come out the longer they sat under the tree. Astarion sighed as SiNafae ran her fingers through his soft silver hair. The evening was peaceful and beautiful.

“We could stay here forever.”, she whispered.

“I would love that. Just to lay here and look at the stars with my head between your legs.”, he purred.

She chuckled as she placed her hair over his face.

“Oh dear, it looks like the sky is gone. Guess we have to go back inside.”

He reached for her waist and tickled her. Her giggles turned to laughter, making her squirm under him.

“No fair! You aren’t ticklish!”

“Oh? Says who? I’ve just never been caught long enough to have anyone try.”

SiNafae grinned wide, “Oh?”

SiNafae rolled out from under him. He lay on his stomach, grinning at her. “And what are you planning on doing?”

She touched his shoulder and he looked at her confused, “That.”

“You cheeky little minx. That’s cheating.”

“Is it now?”, she purred as she removed one of his boots. She traced the sole of his foot with her nails. He could only hiss. She grinned.

“Oooh, a little ticklish here.” She removed his other boot and did the same. Astarion groaned in misery. He couldn’t remember the last time someone tickled his feet. She was enjoying herself.

“So a little ticklish on both feet. I wonder where else.”

“Darling, if you please. Release me.”, he murmured.

“And have you retaliate. Unlikely.”, she scoffed. She looked into his eyes, hers sparkled mischievously.

“What?”, he asked flatly.

“I’ll release you, but you have to promise to stay still and move when I tell you.”

“Are you giving me commands now?”, his voice sounded harsh and cold.

“Astarion, do you trust me?”

“Of Course I do. I…”

“I’m not going to hurt you. If I do something you don’t like, say stop. I’m not commanding you; I’m asking. No more holding spells, I swear.”

“Ok.”, he said as he relaxed, feeling her spell disappear. He noticed tiny wisps floating around them. “Fairy lights?”

“Yes, to set the mood. I can dismiss them if you want.”

“No, they’re fine.”

“Ok, now turn over and face me, please.”

He turned over and saw the sky lit up with stars.

“They’re so beautiful aren’t they?”, she asked. He only nodded. He felt her remove his socks and felt the cool breeze against his toes. As she began unlacing his trousers, he leaned up on his elbows and tilted his head to the side. She looked at him grinning.

“Is this still ok?”, she purred.

He nodded and lay back into the grass. He felt her tug at his pants until they came completely off. He wasn’t sure where this game was going but it was interesting. He’d never had anyone undress him before. She sighed and giggled. She moved back to his feet and began to massage them.

“What are you doing?”

“Have you not had a massage before?”

“Not in a very long time.”

“Good, before I was sent to the deep rothe fields, I had a mistress. She liked to have massages. I learned some. I’m a little out of practice. Am I hurting you?”

“No.”

She tickled the bottoms of his feet. She snorted as he jerked back, “I’m sorry, it was too tempting. I won’t do it again.”

She pushed her thumbs into the soles of his feet and worked outwards in a circular pattern. She took each toe and gently pulled till the joints popped. She moved up his legs and massaged his ankles and calves. She lifted each leg and stretched out his hamstrings. She massaged each thigh and placed a kiss on his inner thigh each time. SiNafae hummed to herself as she knelt by Astarion’s chest. She began unbuttoning his shirt. As she opened his shirt to the air, he suddenly felt venerable. It had been ages since anyone other than Cazador had seen his chest. Her light touch made him bite his bottom lip and shudder.

“Stop!”, he said panicked.

“Are you ok?”, she asked concerned.

Astarion couldn’t look at her, “I…”

She nodded silently and rebuttoned his shirt. She held onto his shirt as kissed him gently. “I can still do this with it on.”

“Leave my back alone for now, please.”

“Of course **_ussta che_** _(my love)_. Can I sit on you?”

He raised an eyebrow and grinned, “You want to straddle me? If you want to have sex, darling, you just have to ask.”

She shook her head, smiling. “I’m still not done massaging you. May I?”

“By all means.”, he purred. He waited until she sat on his lap before grabbing her hips and bucking under her. Her cry of pleasure made him grin at her mischievously.

“Bastard.”, she whispered.

“You are such a gorgeous woman, how could I not.”, he hummed.

She ignored him. She began to massage his chest and arms. She rocked forward to reach his shoulders, harder than she needed to. He moaned softly.

“Fair is fair.”, she said grinning. _Cheeky girl._ She kneaded into his shoulders. The tension that had been there lessened. She got up once she was satisfied with her work and handed him back his clothes.

“Finished?”, he asked as he put his socks back on.

“Not quite, but you don’t have to be half-naked for this part.”

She sat back down behind him and waited for him to finish dressing. She spread her tunic over her legs and patted the grass in front of her. He frowned.

“I'm not going to touch your back. Just sit and lay back. Put your head in my lap.”

He lay down and put his head in her lap. He saw the night sky above him with the fairy lights dancing around. He watched her face as she gently massaged his face and neck. She tilted his head and felt his neck bones.

“Relax, please.”, she whispered.

“Why?”

“Relax or it will hurt when I pop your neck.”

“When you do what?”

She sighed. “I’m releasing the last bit of tension in your spine. Please relax. Now breathe in…Breathe out…”

The sound of his neck popping was unnerving. It only hurt for a second, but he found he was completely relaxed.

“Better?”

“Yes, much. Did your mistress teach you this?”

“No, her handmaiden did. I dared not speak to my mistress. I only ever saw her feet. I wasn’t _worthy_ enough. I was still expected to learn how just in case.”

“I see. You mentioned you don’t like to obey.”

She laughed. “I did. I don’t like to obey commands that force me to do something I feel is unnecessary. For example, cutting off the tongue of someone whose been beaten nearly to death. Or rewashing an entire floor because I sneezed on it. I should be thankful; she could have killed me for refusing to obey.”

She massaged into his scalp, lightly scratching the skin with her nails. She rubbed the lobes of his ears.

Astarion hummed and closed his eyes. “That feels nice.”

“Good.”, SiNafae said, kissing his forehead. She placed her hand on his heart and felt it beat softly against his chest. She looked at him surprised.

“How do you have a heartbeat?”

“The magic of vampirism. We still need something of a heartbeat to move the blood around our bodies. Although we are dead, we are still in a way alive.”

“That explains how you can have sex, I guess. Easier to seduce your prey to let their guard down if you can have sex, then you can feed easier. Can you have children?”

“I’m not sure. I don’t have any. My partners are only temporary or the other spawn.”

“Temporary how?”

He sighed deeply. “It’s how I would bring back fresh blood for Cazador. I sexed them up before bringing them to him under the guise of going elsewhere more private.”

“Ooh...When did you have sex last?”

“Two days before I was taken. I’m not sure how long I was on the ship, so maybe two months. You?”

“Ummm…seventy-four years ago.”, she hid her face in her hands blushing.

“Seventy-four years! Darling that’s a sin.”

“I was enslaved with mostly goblins. I wasn’t about to let those beasts touch me.”

“Ah…well done, then. What made you abstain when you left the Underdark?”

“The language barrier at first but also my paranoia. I was afraid I’d be kidnapped and taken away.”

“I see.”, he nodded.

“Speaking of language. Would you teach me Elven?”

“Why?”

“There is so much I don’t know about our people. I can’t read it and the translations in Common leave much to be desired. I can teach you Drowic and our sign language.”

“Alright, but first tell me what **_ussta che_** means? You’ve said it to me twice already.”

“Oh… it means my love.”

“Does it now?”, he grinned, teasing her.

“What does **_salen aestar_** mean?”

“It also means my love.”

She laughed. “The gods must find this funny. What fools we are.”

He chuckled, “It seems so. Fools in love.”

“I approve.”

They shared a deep kiss under the stars. Tomorrow was the tieflings party and then they would be back at finding a cure.


	12. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tieflings leave the grove and go to the camp for a long postponed party. Wyll and SiNafae have a conversation about secrets and honesty. The darkness she hides shows. SiNafae and Astarion finally have sex.

SiNafae packed her belonging in the grove. She thanked Nettie for helping to heal her. She felt much stronger than she had in a week. Astarion had left her early in the morning to hunt. He had seemed anxious to get moving again, they all did. Wyll came to her room and offered to take her backpack back to camp. She agreed and walked with him towards the ward wall. The grove was abuzz with activity. The tieflings were packing the last of their belongings and loading up the wagons. There was laughter and smiles from them. The children played their last games of hide and seek inside the caves and trees. Wyll and SiNafae nodded back at the tieflings that nodded and waved at them. Wyll seemed nervous and it bothered her a little.

“How did you know?”, he finally asked.

“About?”

“Mizora.”

“Ah. I didn’t know about her until you told us.”

“But…?”, he stammered.

She held up her hand to stop him. “I knew you were a warlock the second day after we met.”

“How?”

She rolled her eyes, “Wyll, your spells and abilities are not unusual to me. Warlocks wield a limited but powerful set of skills. You also smell like sulfur.”

“I do?”

“Oh yes, more so when you use your higher powers. I wasn’t sure at first, but you proved capable in your abilities. Did you want me to be upset? To chastise you?”

“No, not really. You just didn’t seem to care.”, Wyll sighed.

“Do the others treat you differently?”

“Shadowheart doesn’t care, neither does Astarion. Gale told me it was a foolish mistake, but he said he had no reason to judge. Lae’zel does care a small bit. She was disgusted when I told you all why finding Spike was so important. Other than the vengeance for the raid he was part of and taking my eye, it was because of that raid I became a warlock.”

“Well, she is a githyanki. Selling your soul for power doesn’t appeal to her. It’s about weakness. However, if I’m being completely honest, I think she likes you a little.”, SiNafae said, grinning.

“What?”

“I’m sure you annoy her, we all do. She tolerates your flirtations though. She outright threatens to kill Astarion when he does it.”

“That doesn’t bother you?”

“What bothers me?”

“Astarion’s flirtations. He flirts with everyone. If it has a pulse, he flirts with it. I wouldn’t be surprised if he flirts with his food.”

Wyll had meant it as an insult, but SiNafae laughed at it until she had tears in her eyes. He had felt attracted to her when they met but she only had eyes for Astarion. He had hoped that she would change her mind but found she wouldn’t. Shadowheart had snubbed him outright like he was beneath her, but Lae’zel seemed mildly receptive to his advances. He felt drawn to Lae’zel’s strength and straightforwardness.

“I admit it did at first. He seemed like a dick on two legs looking to bury itself in anything. He flirts when he wants something, be it conversation or to get a rise out of you. He is flippant most of the time but the way he speaks to me, holds me, and looks at me; he shows me those small cracks in his mask.”

“But why then do you stay? He isn’t honest and has too many secrets.”, Wyll huffed annoyed.

“We all have secrets, Wyll. You know a small amount of mine. Shadowheart, Gale, and Lae’zel are hiding theirs better. You have your secrets too. You aren’t as honest as you make yourself out to be. Astarion is maybe the most honest of us.”

“I disagree.”

She sighed, “He says what’s on his mind. He gives information without lying. He might withhold some of it, but he keeps his promises. He eventually shares what he keeps hidden.”

“Aren’t you worried he’ll betray you?”

“I’m looking forward to it.”

Wyll’s mouth dropped open, “You are insane. That is insanity.”

“I know. Betrayal is not lost on me. I was bred into it, shaped by it, controlled by it. I always wait for the betrayal of others, even from you. As it stands, you don’t betray someone unless you have no other choice. Money, power, threats of violence; it makes no difference. You will betray to survive, to live to the next day.”

“Have you….”

She scowled slightly, “I’m here talking to you, aren’t I? I’m sorry to sully the image you have of me but there are many things I’ve done in my life. Some I regret so deeply it’s a permanent wound on my soul, others I don’t think twice on. When I said I keep you all alive to keep me alive was true. When I said I care about you all, that was also true. I will protect us as much as I am able. Blood for blood, life for life. We were brought together for better or worse, beyond that…it’s day to day.”

“I see.”, Wyll sighed.

“I trust you all. I also expect you all to betray or abandon me. You haven’t yet and I’m glad for that, but my brain tells me otherwise.”

“Hazzard of being drow. I guess Astarion is drow-like.”

“He is, through no fault of his own. The horror he’s suffered has left him jaded and in contempt of others. It’s familiar to me. I doubt he’d be this way if he hadn’t been turned and enslaved.”

“How are you so cheerful?”

She whispered, “It’s my mask, Wyll.”

“Your mask is happiness?”

She nodded. She felt happiness and joy, but her deeper self was cynical, depressed, and at times violent. The gloom she felt was ever-present.

“Do you love him?”

“More than I should.”

Wyll placed a hand on her shoulder, “Does he love you?”

“More than he should. It’s a disaster waiting to happen. We’ll work through it or kill each other.”, she shrugged, the cracks in her mask opened.

Wyll grabbed her and hugged her tightly. It caught her off guard. Her darkness had risen through her mask and exposed her. She sighed and hugged Wyll back.

“If you need me, you know where I am.”, he whispered.

Her heart was glad for the offer, her brain screamed at her. “I know.” It was all she could say as she patted his back and sighed.

Astarion had seen them talking but hadn’t been close enough to hear their words. He had wanted to approach them when he had heard her laughter. It was only after looking closer at her face, he saw the flaring of the gloom she kept hidden. Wyll was prying, trying to be helpful. She answered Wyll as they walked, her hands by her side fidgeting. She was slightly annoyed by the conversation. Astarion moved closer but stayed hidden. He heard Wyll’s last questions very clearly. Her response was honest, clear and it pained him when he saw the gloom in her eyes. The way Wyll held her, however, aggravated him. He became jealous when she patted Wyll’s back and sighed.

He watched them reach the ward wall and disappear into it. He entered not long after, the camp was quiet for now but the odd tiefling and druid were present. The party would be soon. He looked for SiNafae but couldn’t find her. He found Wyll talking to Zevlor and Halsin. Gale was sitting on his cot inside his tent reading. He noticed Lae’zel and Shadowheart at Shadowheart’s tent. They were talking to each other with their backs to him. They looked down as they talked to someone they covered with their bodies. He made his way over to the tent. He saw a rosy pink tiefling sitting in a chair. She was nodding as Shadowheart and Lae’zel spoke. Her arms were moving in a back-and-forth motion. She looked down and tilted her head to the side. As he walked closer, she saw SiNafae sitting on a blanket cross-legged. She had her head bent down, nodding at the conversation. The tiefling was brushing her hair, he realized.

“It doesn’t have to be so elaborate. There is nothing wrong with simple.”, Shadowheart spoke.

“I disagree. If it’s braided a certain way, it can convey power and strength.”, Lae’zel shook her head.

“Your hair is thick, ma’am. It should hold whatever style you wish.”, the tiefling girl said.

“I haven’t really thought about it. You can’t wear your hair in a certain way at home if you aren’t of a certain rank. I had small braids throughout my hair when I was younger with glass beading but after I began my servitude and enslavement; it was cut off.”

Shadowheart gasped, “You were bald?”

SiNafae shook her head and laughed, “No, just extremely short. I looked like a boy with breasts.”

“I might have some beads in my sewing. If you don’t mind ma’am, I can braid your hair and place them in the top braids.”

“Oh…well I…”, her voice faltered.

“Go on, darling. There isn’t anyone here that will touch that beautiful head of yours without your say so.”, Astarion chirped.

She looked up at him. The smile in her eyes and on her lips, made him smile back. She nodded and the tiefling fetched her sewing and looked through it for the beads. She pulled out several silver and dark green ones. SiNafae picked the dark green ones. The tiefling began braiding her hair and would braid a bead into it.

Astarion went about his way. He wanted to be surprised when he saw her later. He began to think about their conversations from the previous days. _Seventy-four years?_ She was long overdue for some fun. He had wanted her more than anything that day he found her swimming in the grove. He had masturbated twice after she had left him that night. If she hadn’t been so tired and still healing, he wouldn’t have waited. The thought of her heavy with his child excited his heart but his brain told him such thoughts were dangerous and very unlikely. He sighed deeply.

He thought about other ways to show her his adoration. He bought several large blankets from a tiefling merchant. He carried them to a sheltered clearing near a cliff. The sky was open above him but was in the shade of the trees. It was quiet here, peaceful. The camp was far enough away that it would take a long search to find him but still close enough that you couldn’t get too lost. He was nervous, like a teenager meeting his first lover alone. As the sun began to set, he could hear the music in the distance. The wait would be bearable but just barely. He headed to the camp as the party kicked off.

Gale was talking to SiNafae, she grinned as Gale spoke to her in between sips of his drink.

“Astarion has a certain appeal about him. So does a tiger when it purrs.”, Gale sighed.

“And what a lovely tiger it is.”, she mused.

“Indeed.”, Gale nodded, “In any case, I wish you both the best.”

“I’m almost certain Shadowheart would enjoy your company if you don’t drink yourself under the table.”

“I’m not so sure.”

“It never hurts to try. Well, it might but Gale, Shadowheart isn’t wearing her armor and is unarmed. I haven’t seen her that relaxed in a while. Go talk to her.”, SiNafae nudged.

“I will in a bit. I just…”, Gale sighed.

SiNafae nodded. He was afraid, he didn’t want to ruin the moments they had with drunk sex. She left him and walked over to Shadowheart. “Ah my friend, do stop drinking before you can’t think anymore.”

“Why should I?”, Shadowheart asked, raising an eyebrow.

“You should go talk to Gale. The way you both are staring at each other is disturbing. Do you not want to remember it at all?”

“I…”, Shadowheart began. SiNafae grabbed the wine from Shadowheart’s hand and then grabbed her hand.

“Come.”, SiNafae dragged Shadowheart behind her.

Shadowheart tried protesting but wasn’t putting up much of a fight. SiNafae stopped in front of Gale and shoved Shadowheart towards him. Shadowheart stumbled forward and Gale held his arm out to catch her.

SiNafae whispered into Shadowheart’s ear, “Enjoy it. He is a mage after all. Imagine what he can do with those hands.”

SiNafae chuckled as Shadowheart’s face flushed red. She handed back the glass of wine. Winking at Gale, SiNafae walked away. She heard Gale speak softly to Shadowheart. She smiled when she heard Shadowheart reply without sarcasm. She walked to Lae’zel and stood next to her.

“Lae’zel.”, she nodded.

“SiNafae.”, Lae’zel nodded back.

Lae’zel looked at SiNafae and smirked. “You decided to mettle after all.”

SiNafae hummed, “It was driving me crazy. They suit each other. Now as for you…”

“You wouldn’t dare.”, Lae’zel hissed.

“I leave that to you. However, I have noticed you tolerate him better than the others, myself included.”, she said as she placed her hands behind her back grinning.

SiNafae saw the flash in Lae’zel’s eyes as she looked toward Wyll. She had to stifle the laugh or the githyanki would certainly smack her.

“He is a fine specimen to look at, I admit. Like everything in this Faerun though, he is laughably weak.”

SiNafae nodded. “We are all weak compared to the githyanki. They don’t find themselves spending their entire lives training for battle. Other than drow, the surface races just can’t compete to the gith. However, humans are well known for their vigor. They have a high tolerance for many things. Wyll has a high tolerance for pain and boundless stamina. These are good qualities, are they not?”

“You sound like you are making a sell.”, Lae’zel murmured.

“Perhaps I am. Are you willing to buy?”, SiNafae grinned.

“I may but when I’m ready. Pity you’ve promised yourself to Astarion.”

“Oh, I’m sure if you ask nicely, he’ll ask you to join us.”

Lae’zel spat but looked at SiNafae with a slight grin. “Tempting, but no. I don’t like to share.”

“Neither do I. I’ll leave you to it then.” She walked by Wyll. She whispered that she hoped he had stretched today and that she was not sorry. Wyll paled but grinned wide.

The music was lively, and she felt like a dance. Several tieflings asked her to dance. She knew a few folk dances and joined in the fun. She was into her second dance when she noticed Astarion was standing by a carriage just outside of the main camp. She excused herself and made her way to him.

He saw her coming toward him. Her face was flush from her dancing, her chest heaving as she breathed. The braiding in her hair was delicate and the deep green beads reflected the light around her. She looked stunning, like a vision of a deity coming to a mortal worshiper. He was drinking straight from the bottle as she approached him. He snickered to himself. _Like a moth to the flame._ She smiled wide as she stopped in front of him.

“You know, I never saw myself as a hero. But now that I’m here…I hate it. This is awful. This party is boring”, he grinned.

“You’re right. The goblins would have thrown a better party.”

“We could go make our own fun, darling.”, he bared a fang as he took her hands.

“Say please.”, she grinned mischievously.

He grinned back, “Please.”

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. Gently, she nibbled on his bottom lip. “I’ll see you in a few.”, she cooed.

Well, this was different, pleasantly different. He watched her leave. The heat she left behind in him was nice. He stopped drinking the wine he had. It would only dull his senses later and he wanted to enjoy this sober.

He saw her talking to Halsin for a minute before she came walking back to him. He left the camp and headed toward the clearing. He heard her behind him some distance away. He knew she could still see him in the dark of the forest. He sped up slightly, heading for a large tree. He hid behind it and waited as she came around it. Astarion slipped behind her quietly. She walked forward until she entered the clearing. She saw the blankets and shook her head as she chuckled. She summoned a smaller fairy light and let it hover above her. She crept forward, stepping lightly as she approached a tree. She jumped behind it but found no one there. She dismissed the light and sighed. Astarion wrapped his arms around her waist and leaned into her from behind. She yelped in surprise and then chuckled.

“You are very bad at this, my dear.”, he laughed.

She tilted her head back and hummed. “I know. I already told you I got lost trying to escape. I wasn’t lying.”

She wrapped her arms around his. Looking around the clearing, she noticed it was private. She barely heard the music in the background. The sky was littered with stars and each one seemed to twinkle.

“I’ve been waiting to have you.”, he whispered into her ear. His lips against it caused her to shiver.

“I have been waiting to have you too.”, she purred. She brushed her hand across his groin. He inhaled sharply.

She turned to face him. Her violet eyes shone brightly in the dim starlight. He brought a hand to her face and stroked it gently. He leaned in and embraced her. He felt her tongue rub against his fangs, the feeling made him moan. He felt her smirk as she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around him, kissing him further. Their mouths fought each other as he walked to a nearby tree. He pressed her against the tree. She felt him fully between their clothes. He pressed onto her harder, drawing a deep moan from her. She kicked off the tree and sent them onto the blankets. The breath was forced from his lungs as she landed on top of him. He was taken aback slightly but grinned widely. She laughed as he flipped her over onto her back.

She stroked his face as she tilted her neck to him. He paused, unsure as to her meaning. She looked at him and nodded. He leaned into her neck and breathed in her scent. He kissed her neck before he bit her. She pulled him further into her with her legs. The feel of her against him made him groan as he fed on her. He stopped and pressed the bite with his tongue until it stopped bleeding. She had paled a bit and he felt sorry for it. She looked up at him and smiled. He kissed her again. She tasted the metallic notes of her blood on his tongue. He began to undo her robe. She smiled when she remembered she didn’t wear anything under it. She undid the lacing of his trousers. He hadn’t worn his doublet, just his shirt. _The gods grant small miracles._ She would have torn it off of him had he worn it. He opened the top of her robe and saw her bare breasts. He sighed to himself.

“Are you completely naked inside your robe, **_salen aestar_** _(my love)_?”

She grinned, “I am **_ussta che_** _(my love)_.”

He growled low as he pulled his shirt off and tossed it aside. She grinned as he undressed further. He had worn too many clothes, he berated himself. She bit her bottom lip as she watched him. She enjoyed the frustration on his face as he took his shoes and socks off. She had just worn slippers and her robe. SiNafae tried not to giggle at her lover but found she couldn’t help it. He looked at her annoyed.

“Cheeky little pup, aren’t you?”

She nodded, biting the tip of a finger. His red eyes flashed, sending shivers down her spine. The goosebumps were not unnoticed by Astarion. He was completely undressed. His body was well-muscled, his pale skin made him look like a statue. He looked her over as he moved down to her, his fingertips brushing against her warm skin. He fondled her breast with one hand as he teased the nipple of her other with his mouth. She ran her fingers through his hair as she sighed. The softness of her body gave as he squeezed her hip. She hummed against him as she raised her legs beside him. He kissed her as he touched her with his fingertips. She sighed his name into his mouth. He pressed his fingers into her. SiNafae stiffened against him. He was gentle as he moved them inside her. Fair is fair, she grasped him in her hand. He moaned her name as she paced her movements with his.

Astarion was enjoying this foreplay. She was warm and very wet. Her warm hand surrounding his cock was exciting. They would both cum from this alone, but he wanted more. The thoughts of her taking him into herself almost finished him off. She noticed the change in his expression.

“More.”, she whispered.

“What do you want?”, he asked.

“You. Completely and fully.”

He placed a kiss on her inner thigh. It had been ages since she had sex, and she was afraid. He positioned himself just outside her. He watched her face as he entered her slowly. She grimaced and bit into her lips. He noticed she held her breath. Once he was inside her completely, he searched her face for distress. She relaxed as she exhaled. She nodded as she looked into his eyes. He moved slowly, feeling her warmth surround him and the tightness from her abstinence ease.

“ ** _Ussta che_** (my love), I’m alright. The discomfort has passed.”, she whispered.

He grunted as he became more forceful. They reveled in each other as their skin became flushed. Astarion lifted her legs to enter her more. The surprise of him going deeper, caused her to moan his name loudly. SiNafae could feel the tingle in her womb, she was close.

“Say my name, Astarion.”, she whispered.

“What?”, he panted.

“Say it!”, SiNafae moaned.

“Si…SiNafae.”, he grunted.

“Astarion, fuck me. Fuck me harder!”

He was more than happy to oblige. The sound of skin on skin, the moaning, and grunting would have made a whore blush. He felt her grip him as she came. He pushed into her hard as he spilled into her. He stayed inside her, watching her gasps of breath. She looked into his eyes and smiled as she brushed his cheek weakly. He took her hand, kissed her palm, and then kissed her lips tenderly.

Astarion lay next to her and held her. He could see she had tired. It would be a long time before she was completely better. He covered them with a blanket. SiNafae could feel herself slip away. She cursed her weak body. She would apologize to him in the morning.

She woke to find herself wrapped in a blanket in the woods. It took her a minute to remember how she had gotten here. She smiled but frowned when she didn’t feel him next to her. She sat up and found him in the sun. His back was to her, wearing only his trousers. He was surrounded by sunlight, worshipping it. She saw the script on his back. The runic circles and words etched across it. He heard her stirring and turned to face her, he was smiling.

“You slept light. I thought you’d be exhausted after last night.”, he grinned wide, flashing a fang.

“I would sleep more but we have to get moving later. I’m sorry for falling asleep so soon.”

“It’s alright. I pushed a bit farther than I should have. I would have gone farther but I didn’t want to lose control. Your body isn’t strong enough for extended play just yet.”

She chuckled as she put her robe back on, “We’ll have to work on my stamina then.”

Astarion nodded, “Indeed we shall.”

She wanted to ask about the scar, but it would ruin the mood. She had seen his secret and would wait for him to mention it. She handed him his shirt. He pulled it on and caught her mouth in his. He probed hers with his tongue, she grinned.

“I could be talked into another go.”, she said.

“As could I but I’m afraid the others will be looking for us eventually and I don’t wish to let them see your gorgeous body. Nor would I want them to hear all those sweet words that we speak to each other.”

She tilted her head and sighed. He saw the gloom behind her eyes flicker for a moment. He kissed her knuckles and collected the blankets.

“I paid good money for these and they now smell like us. They are coming with us.”

She giggled. SiNafae took the blankets and folded them. She gave them to Astarion as they made their way back to camp. The others were not awake just yet, SiNafae did her best to stifle a yawn. He nudged her into her tent. She lay on her cot and unfolded one of the blankets. She patted the part of the cot in front of her. He raised an eyebrow.

“If you lay behind me, this whole camp will hear me have my way with you. It’s mildly safer if you lay in front of me.”

“If you insist.”, he mused.

She played with his hair until she fell into a trance. The warmth of her gave him comfort. He settled in and entered his trance. It would be the last time they would see the surface for some time. They were heading for the Underdark and only one of them was familiar with the dangers it held. He would have to make sure he stayed on top of his game to protect her.


	13. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The party enters the Underdark. Old memories bring sorrow and old powers are returned. 
> 
> I'm going to start giving translations in the story. It will make it easier for everyone. :P  
> I also would like to apologize to my dear readers. I edit my posts before I put them up, but I go back and reread it several times and end up fixing it and reposting. I thank you all very much for continuing to read my work.

They felt the air pulled through the staircase as they descended into the Underdark. SiNafae could see it get brighter as they went down. It had been three years since she had last been inside the Underdark. She felt the faerzress begin to empower her. Her steps grew quieter, and her hearing improved. She felt the stone of the wall as they moved further down. She sensed a hollow in the wall below as they drew closer to the bottom.

“Stop.”, she ordered.

The others stopped beside her. Her companions looked at her with questioning expressions. She ran her hand farther along the wall beside her. She tapped it twice and paused.

“What….?”, Wyll whispered.

Astarion saw her ears twitch as she tapped the wall again. He saw her lips moving, she was counting. She looked over the railing of the staircase and tapped the stone banister. She jumped over it, causing her companions to gasp in horror. They heard nothing as they peered over the banister into the darkness below. Astarion barely saw her on the landing under them. His heart stopped when he heard the click of a mechanism.

“Ok, it’s safe.”, SiNafae called to the others above her.

They rejoined her in a small room. There was a broken statue of Selune next to a once elegantly carved stone table that had ancient candles on it. SiNafae lit them as she scanned the room. Astarion was enjoying seeing this side of her, where she was the hunter. He watched her as she stalked forward toward the darkness ahead like a cat stalking its prey.

“Do not move from here until I come back.”, SiNafae whispered.

“Do you need help?”, Gale asked.

SiNafae shook her head. “You will only slow me down. Stay.”

They watched her move forward, running her hand across the wall, tapping it as she went. They all looked at each other confused. Astarion chuckled as he shook his head.

“This is the under temple to Selune that Halsin mentioned. He said there had been a battle here many years ago, but this room looks barely touched.”, Shadowheart spoke as she sat on a nearby crate.

Wyll lit two wall scones hanging where SiNafae had left, he gasped when he saw the skeleton nearby.

“By the Hells.”, Gale said.

“You should see the rest of the temple.”, SiNafae replied as she returned. “Give me your torch please. I’ll be right back.”

Wyll handed her his torch. She disappeared back into the dark. They noticed the area slowly become brighter through the doorway. She called them into the temple. One by one they looked at the once-grand temple in awe and horror. Bodies lay strewn about. Some impaled onto the walls, many stabbed on the floor, a few fallen into broken windows. A once-mighty gate stood before them, closed. The few pieces of chairs, beds, and tables that remained were still in good condition. Inside the hall was a side chamber that held a large fireplace with a forge and a few beds.

SiNafae had moved to the battlements of the gate. She looked out into the Underdark and shuttered. In between the greys of the Underdark, there was a rainbow of colors. The various colors of greens, reds, blues, and yellows were spread out wide as far as she could see. The faerzress danced in the air as swirls in clouds. The heat of several areas drew her attention. A spring of faerzress was north of the temple, a growth of mushrooms feeding on the faerzress near the temple to the west would need to be avoided. She leaned against the battlements and sighed.

Astarion watched her from the courtyard. She had been quiet during their descent into the Underdark. She was tense and on edge. He saw her lean on the battlements, looking out into the Underdark. She was the only one who could see out into the darkness. His low light vision did nothing in the deeper darkness that was the Underdark. He watched her summon a power he hadn’t seen before. The blue-purple flame engulfed her hand and danced between her fingers. She looked at her hand for a minute and then the flame disappeared. He saw her expression well enough to see the gloom on her face. He made his way up to her.

It had been three years since she had been able to cast faerie fire without difficulty. She was certain that she could levitate again if she wanted. The old ways called to her. She hated it, was annoyed by it, and she shifted uncomfortably.

SiNafae Dyrr, youngest daughter of a merchant from a merchant clan. She had been sent to the Enclave for school and her father taught her the magic of a war mage. The look on his face when she killed him was of surprise but also understanding. They would suffer the same fate as her brother if they stayed.

The goddess Eilistraee was known in the city but not openly worshipped. Her brother had pushed and would openly speak about Eilistraee to everyone. Most people ignored him, a high priestess of Lolth did not. He was sacrificed in Lolth’s name that day in the square. It broke her father’s heart. They had been whipped for being kin to an unbeliever. They would have died if her older sister had not asked for Lolth’s mercy. Her sister was a priestess of Lolth. They were stripped of their freedom and given to her sister as servants.

Twenty years later, she would take her father’s life to save her own and be sent to the deep rothe fields as a slave. Fifty years after that, she would make her escape from the deep rothe fields. She should have died the year she spent on the trade road to Darkhold. Hiding from the caravans and the monsters that lurked nearby. She had been incredibly lucky. She thanked Eilistraee every day she could open her eyes. She could fight the realms, but she struggled some days to fight her depression. The gloom that hid within her caused her to relive her worse moments for decades. She felt annoyed with herself.

_“ **Xsa ol**! (Damn it!)”,_ she spat as she hit the top of the battlements with her fists, _“ **Usstan h’ros inbau nindolen asdf’gvert doeb d’ussta karliik.** (I can’t get these memories out of my head.)”_

She hit the battlements several more times, making her knuckles bleed. She put her knuckles to her mouth and licked the blood from them. She tasted the metallic taste of her blood and sighed. Pulling Astarion’s handkerchief out of her pocket, she dabbed at her hands to stop the bleeding.

“I see you still have my handkerchief. Is it necessary for you to bleed on it again?”, his voice was teasing.

She glanced at him and frowned, “I just washed it too.”

Astarion took her hands and kissed her knuckles. The scent of her blood lingered but he refused to lick them. He was hungry but this wasn’t the time. She watched his movements, waiting for him to lick her wounds, when he didn’t she was surprised.

“Are you hungry? I have an apple with me if you want it.”, he whispered, patting his pocket.

“No thank you. Maybe later.”, she sighed heavily.

“What is wrong, **_salen aestar_** _(my love)_?”

“Old memories and darkness consume me.”

“You impressed me with that move you did back there. Jumping over a banister into the darkness. How bold of you.” Astarion would distract her from herself the best way he knew how, with flattery.

She smirked, “Was it now?”

“The tapping against the stone showed you where the traps were?”

“It did. It’s limited to a few meters. I wasn’t sure if it was a trap or a hidden cache. Fortunately, the trap was rusted and easy to disable. I’m not adept at trap-craft, I could have killed us all.”

“You didn’t. Tell me what those beautiful eyes see in this darkness. I can only see just past the gate thanks to the brasiers.”

She looked out and tilted her head. “I wish I could show you the colors and brightness I see. The heat in the air, the splash of color among the rocks, the water, and the creatures below. The faerzress is present here but farther north it is heavy, thick, dangerous. There are mushrooms nearby we will need to avoid, they consume the faerzress and are extremely dangerous. I can hear creatures in the cavern not far off. I don’t know what they are, but we should be on our guard.”

“You are truly remarkable. You noticed all of that out there.”, he was glad to have her keen senses in the Underdark. They wouldn’t be able to survive it without her.

She shrugged, “I’m not anything special. Any drow could tell you this.”

“If you haven’t noticed, you are the only one among us, my dear. Do you think there are drow out there?”

She nodded, “I’m almost certain of it. I’ve never been to this part of the Underdark, but my people are everywhere. We’ll be safe here for now.”

The thought of running into more of her kind was terrifying. She shivered lightly as a breeze moved past the battlements. Astarion drew her closer to him, wrapping his arms around her. They had thought her silly for buying everyone a cloak before they bid the tieflings farewell. _They’ll be glad to have them later if we run into a cold spot or spore cloud._

“What was that fire you were playing with a moment ago?”, he asked genuinely curious.

“ ** _Faerie chath_** …I mean faerie fire. It’s a harmless fire. It’s used to mark creatures or objects, to create a distraction. I haven’t been able to create it in three years without difficulty. The last time I could, was six months after I began living on the surface. I gave myself a nosebleed from the next attempt a week later. I can probably levitate now if I concentrate.”

His eyes widened, “Really? What else can you do down here?”

“You’ve seen my fairy lights. Well, that was from my wizard training. I can cast it naturally now without my training. I can also create darkness that can’t be seen through magically.”

“Anything else?”

“No. If I had more training or a noble maybe. I’m pretty average as drow go.”

They heard shrieks off in the distance. Astarion reached for his rapier but she shook her head. “It’s a shrieker fungus. It's either luring something into the violet fungus it lives next to or something is eating it.”

“Shrieker fungus? What’s a violet fungus?”

“Violet fungus is a poisonous mushroom that has tentacles, and they can move around on tiny root feet. Shrieker fungus is a type of violet fungus but they don’t have tentacles, poison, or move. They however are a lure for the violet fungus. Together they are deadly if you don’t know about them. Shrieker fungus is very delicious.”

SiNafae looked at Astarion. Her violet eyes were a rich amber color. He shivered internally. He’d never seen drow eyes in the dark, only brief flashes of amber in her eyes when she was upset. He recognized an apex predator at home with its environment. This was her domain, her hunting grounds, and he was her guest.

“You are almost invisible here. That’s an advantage.”, she said.

“I am?”

She nodded, “I can barely see you by heat. If you had fed more recently, you might be more visible. Care to test my theory?”

“I…”, he was hungry, but he didn’t want to weaken her.

She took the apple from his pocket and began to eat it. Her eyes took on her normal violet hue as she ate. SiNafae brought her forearm up to his face and pulled back her sleeve.

“If you bite me here, it will be like a snack.”

He understood what she meant. The veins were smaller, but she had more flesh and muscle to lessen the bruising. He kissed her arm near the bend of her joint. He bit her as gently as he could. Astarion saw her wince and her jaw tightened, but he sighed as her blood entered his body. He sucked harder and drew more blood into him. She whimpered as she took another bite of her apple. It was enough, he’d be fine for the rest of the day. He placed his tongue over the wound until it stopped bleeding.

She looked at him again with amber eyes as she finished the apple and nodded, “I see you clearly now.”

“I hope you won’t bruise too hard.”, he tsked.

She tossed the apple core over the battlements. Placing her hand over the bite mark, she chanted a word and her wound disappeared.

She smiled, “I can cure minor wounds better now. The pain is still there but it’s dull. See, my skin is fine.”

“Are these your clerical powers?”

“Yes. I only knew how to create water, cure minor wounds, and turn undead before. Nettie taught me how to cure better.”

“Turn undead? You’ve never used it on me.”

She laughed, “I have no reason to. I wouldn’t be able to anyway. At most I can turn a skeleton or a zombie. You are too powerful.”

He kissed her cheek, “Do you feel ok?”

“I feel better.”

SiNafae pulled him closer and rested her head on his shoulder. She did feel better with him next to her. She held him tighter and nuzzled into his neck. He sighed softly as he leaned against her. She flicked her tongue against his skin, making him growl. SiNafae nibbled his ear as she stroked the length of him in his trousers. He let out a soft moan. She was enjoying being able to tease him.

“You enjoy playing with fire, don’t you?”, he warned, “I’ll take you here on these battlements where they can see, the others be damned.”

She removed her hand from his trousers and stepped away, “You win, I’ll stop.”

“You aren’t getting out of this that easy.”, he whispered.

He moved further into the battlements and motioned for her to follow. She knew she was in trouble, but she looked forward to the punishment. She drew closer to him and stifled a yelp as he grabbed her. He kissed her roughly, hungrily. He moved them to the battlement’s alcove. He spun her and placed her back in front of him. He bent her forward over the alcove’s windowsill and lifted her robe over her hips. She looked at him over her shoulder and opened her mouth. He pushed his contained hardness between them. She closed her mouth quickly as she moaned louder than she meant to. He rocked his hips against her, becoming more forceful. He could hear her panting, her arms tense as she gripped the windowsill.

“Astarion…please…”, she whimpered.

“Please what, darning?”, he grinned.

“Take me.”

“Can you be quiet, or will you scream my name into the Underdark?”, he purred.

She chuckled, “Most likely both, but I will try to be quiet.”

“Good girl.”

He undid her pants and pulled them down. Undoing the lacing on his trousers, he freed himself and felt the heat and wetness of her. They both were worked up; it wouldn’t take much to undo them into bliss. He entered her as slowly as he could, delaying the feeling a bit longer. He hissed when she bucked against him. He thrust into her and she yelped with pleasure. She hummed as she panted heavily.

“More…Astarion.”, she whispered.

Pushing her further onto the windowsill, he lifted one of her legs and held it as he moved deeper into her. SiNafae bit into her lip hard to muffle her moaning. Astarion hissed as he thrust into her faster. She gripped him hard as she came. He thrust a few more times before he spilled into her. He breathed heavily and let go of her leg. He felt her legs begin to give as he held her up against the windowsill. SiNafae felt her vision blur as she tired. She hated this, hated this weakness. She sighed deeply when he removed himself from her. She felt him pull her pants back on for her. She couldn’t move, she would fall to the floor if she did.

“Can you lean here for a moment? I’ll grab our bedrolls and bring them here.”, he asked as he kissed her cheek, while he redressed.

She nodded, “Please bring my cloak. I left it on a table by the forge.”

Astarion left and returned quickly with their belongings. He placed the bedrolls on the ground and covered them with their blankets. He came to her and picked her up. He looked at her face. She was blushing from the embarrassment of being picked up. He chuckled at her as he placed her on the blankets.

“I’ll be right back.”, he said. He left for a few minutes and returned with some bread, cheese, and wine. “Eat a little before you rest, darling.”

“Are you not tired?”

He shook his head, “This place is large. I’ll explore it for a minute. I promise to only go where you’ve already lit braziers. I’ll be careful.”

She nodded as she took her robe off and poured herself some wine. He left her and returned to the forge area. Gale had gotten the fireplace working. The others were sitting around a table, talking among themselves. Lae’zel nodded to him as she handed him a glass of wine.

“How is she?”, Shadowheart asked.

“Tired, but she’ll live. She’s on edge of course. Being here has changed her already.”, Astarion shook his head as he slipped on his wine.

“Changed her how?”, Gale asked.

“Think of it like this. Let’s say you are an exceptionally skilled hunter. You are feared by creatures near and far. Then one day, you become the prey and are afraid and lonely. You adapt to your new life as prey. The other prey begins to trust you and see you as fellow prey. Then you find yourself no longer with the prey but among them in your old hunting grounds. You feel the hunter within you stir. You don’t see yourself as a hunter anymore, but your blood is called to it. You fight with yourself to maintain control over the hunter and not scare the prey that trust you.”, Astarion looked at the floor, “She’s gained back her powers in the short hours we’ve been here. It’s amazing.”

“Hells.”, Wyll sighed.

Astarion shrugged. It made no difference to him, he understood what it was to be a hunter. He looked forward to seeing her hunt in the Underdark but the quiet and darkness of the Underdark reminded him of a tomb. He spent long enough in the dark, he yearned for the sun.

“It’s late. SiNafae said we are safe here for now. Don’t explore any area that hasn’t been lit. Don’t stay up too late, we have no idea what time it is anymore. The sooner we can leave this place the better. Good night.”

He left them behind and climbed back up the battlements to her. She was resting under the blankets. He removed his shoes and doublet. He slipped into the blankets next to her. Kissing her lips brought a murmur from her mouth. He smirked as he heard her sigh his name. He relaxed and began his trance.


	14. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short time out in the under temple. The girls take time to wash their clothes. SiNafae recalls how she left the Underdark. Lae'zel issues out punishment for negligence.

SiNafae was awake. Unusually, she was awake before Astarion. Looking at his face while he slept, she smiled. Taking his hand into hers, she kissed the tips of his fingers and left their shared bedrolls. Shivering at the breeze that moved through the battlements, she began digging into her backpack for washcloths, another shirt, pants, and some soap. Taking her spare clothes, she entered the courtyard. She had found a few empty barrels that were in good condition and placed her spare clothes on a nearby bench. She filled a barrel up with a water spell. Taking her clothes off, she washed them in the dark. Looking at her arm, she could see a small wave where Astarion had bitten her. She would hide it from him until it healed completely, she knew he would hate himself for it. Water sloshed onto the floor as she scrubbed them, she heard Lae’zel moving not far off.

“Lae’zel, I know you are there. I’ll light the room, but I must warn you I’m not wearing any clothes.”

She heard Lae’zel tsked and she grinned as she heard Lae’zel shuffle closer.

“I care not, light the damn room”, Lae’zel hissed.

SiNafae lit the brazier next to her. Lae’zel was wearing only the leathers that were usually under her plate. She sat on the bench by SiNafae’s clothes. They stayed in silence while SiNafae scrubbed her clothes. Filling another barrel with water, SiNafae wrung out her soaped-up clothes and put them into the clean water. As she washed out the soap, she saw Shadowheart poke her head out from the forge room.

“Come on out Shadowheart, bring some food with you and your dirty clothes. I’m naked if you care.”

Shadowheart retreated into the forge room. Shadowheart came back out with clothes under her arm and a loaf of bread in her hand.

“Do you think we should get one of the screens to shield you?”

“Yeah, maybe we should. I don’t want Astarion to pout the rest of forever from everyone seeing me naked.”, SiNafae snickered.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel snickered back. They located one of the screens that was mostly intact and placed it where it would cover the barrels SiNafae worked in from the view of the forge room.

“Why are you doing this naked?”, Lae’zel asked.

“I only have one spare set of clothes; I don’t need them both to be wet. Shadowheart go ahead and put yours in that one and I’ll do them next.”

“I can help…oh…”, Shadowheart stopped mid-sentence. She had never seen SiNafae without any clothes on. It wasn’t the nudity that shocked her, it was the scars. Lae’zel had noticed them but kept silent. SiNafae raised an eyebrow at Shadowheart. She reached out to touch SiNafae’s back but retracted her hand.

“…I..”

“It’s fine, go ahead.”, SiNafae said.

Shadowheart wasn’t a stranger to pain, she gave it out and received it in turn at Shar’s temple. The difference being that was part of her religion’s rituals. It was expected by the Lady of Loss to penance oneself and fellows of the faith. SiNafae was almost what she would call a friend. She reached out and ran her hand down SiNafae’s scars. They were jagged, crisscrossed her back, shoulders, and upper arms. They were very old scars and had been from years of punishments. Shadowheart shuddered slightly.

“Lae’zel do you have any clothes that need to be washed?”, SiNafae asked, ignoring Shadowheart’s fingers on her scars.

“No. Unless you know how to clean leathers.”

“I do. Take them off and turn them inside out and put them in the water with Shadowheart’s clothes.”

“Is that really necessary?”, Lae’zel asked.

“Do you want them clean or do you want to risk infection and smell horrible.”

Lae’zel cursed in Gith as she removed her clothes.

“There is more soap if you want to wash yourself, girls. No tubs this time.”

Shadowheart and Lae’zel found clean washcloths and washed as SiNafae washed their clothes. Once the clothes were wrung out, they were placed near the fire to dry. They moved the bench closer and sat naked in front of the fire, eating bread.

“Your scars are unusual. What caused them?”, Shadowheart asked.

“A whip.”, SiNafae whispered.

“No ordinary whip would make those marks.”, Lae’zel replied.

SiNafae looked into the fire of the brazier and sighed. “The priestess’ of Lolth are given a whip of fangs or a scourge of fangs when they pass their trials to become a priestess. The whips are made of living snakes, they have multiple snakeheads that bite with magic that numbs and flays the skin. The numbness lingers for months. Some of these scars are from that whip but there are others from a scourge of fangs. The scourge uses metal construct snakes. The scourge strips flesh from bone. The pain never truly fades. Even now, sixty years later it still aches. My sister used both with great efficiency.”

“Your sister?”, Shadowheart breathed.

SiNafae nodded. The reason for her suffering and the reason she lived still was because of her sister. Z’ress was a century older than SiNafae and there were forty years between her brother Nym and herself. There had been other siblings but the three of them were the only survivors of their mother’s seven children. She had no idea how her parents met. Her father was the father of Nym but not her sister. SiNafae could only guess it was her father who raised her as a baby instead of her mother. Unlike her older sister, she showed magical talent. Her father had training as a war mage, and her mother had been a priestess of Lolth. Sshamath is ruled by wizards and men hold higher positions than in other Lolth worshiping cities. The houses weren’t as important in Sshamath, trade was. After her mother died in battle against duergar under the service of Asmodeus, Z’ress took over the family as matron.

The day Nym was sacrificed to Lolth, SiNafae and her father lost their freedom and became her sister’s servants. Being young and still hoping family bonds meant something, she approached Z’ress as an equal, not as a servant. She was punished harshly that day. There would be many times she would _“forget her place”_. The day she and her father tried to escape was horrible. She had seen the guards watching them when they tried to run. Her father had been desperate and not as careful as he would have been normally. He had been sick for months and didn’t want to die and leave SiNafae to fend for herself. She made the choice to end his life as the guards came closer. Her father’s last words were telling her he was sorry. She killed him just as they left the city gates, in view of everyone. A servant killing another servant was a high offense. She was sent to the deep rothe fields and became a slave.

Among the slaves, she fought with them daily for food and a corner to herself. Her magical shackles made casting impossible, so she had to learn how to fight dirty. Her sister still had ownership of her body and put it to use as she saw fit. SiNafae would be punished sometimes for nothing at all. A smile came to her lips as she recalled the justice she brought to Z’ress the day she left.

During her time in the deep rothe fields, she had found a small crevasse that led out of the city into a side passage. The way was narrow, and it took her almost a year of barely eating to be able to fit into the gap. There had been an outbreak of disease three months before SiNafae’s escape. The slaves are always the first to die. Collecting the pus, vomit, and blood in a jar, SiNafae made a deadly mixture with violet fungus spores. Finding bottles of her sister’s favorite wine wasn’t hard.

She added ground-up glass shards, her mixture, and the wine together. Giving some of her mixtures to other slaves gave her an idea as to how long it would take before they would succumb. Making several bottles, she replaced them inside the household. Slowly, the house became infected. She served the wine to her sister personally two days before she left. It’s hard to poison drow, their natural resistance to poison and magic is high. She dropped the bottle on purpose and was beaten severely. Her sister became ill almost immediately. The day she left, she locked the doors to her sister’s inner sanctum and told the guards Z’ress would be meditating to Lolth for a week and to not disturb her. She waited until the chimes for nightfall had passed to escape through the crevasse passage.

The way out of the Underdark almost killed her many times. It was the hardest year she ever remembered. Living on what food she brought with her and what food she could find, she traveled to Darkhold. Avoiding caravans, monsters, and her doubts, and getting lost in a field of heavy faerzress, she made it to the surface after a year.

The surface was hell incarnate to her. The sun burned her eyes, her flesh, her clothes. The shackles broke a week later and for the first time in a very long time, she felt the Weave. She had killed a traveler on the road and took his cloak, his money, and whatever else he had. She felt bad for killing him but justified it as he would have done the same to her if the roles were reversed.

A traveling group of circus performers found her near Corm Orp. They were wary of her naturally. She spoke very little Common and had a hard time understanding what they asked, and they had a hard time understanding her answers. It took four months to get to Baldur’s Gate. During that time, she learned more Common and had been fitted with sunglasses for her to see without pain. Her world was tinted grey for three years. She still had them with her, hidden in a bag of holding inside her robe. A gift from a gnome she befriended on the road to Baldur’s Gate. She never mentioned it to the others, it was unimportant. The tadpole had made it easy to tolerate the sun. It wasn’t until Astarion revealed that he was a vampire that it made sense to her. He didn’t burn in the sun and neither did she.

A sound of a throat being cleared brought her back to the present.

“Is there a reason the three of you are sitting in front of a fire naked?”, Astarion smirked.

“Washing clothes. Did you want anything washed?”, SiNafae asked without turning around.

“Not at present. Do carry on.”

Astarion walked into the forge room and relit the fireplace. Wyll and Gale groaned at the intrusion of light.

“He did that on purpose.”, Shadowheart hissed.

“He most definitely did.”, SiNafae rolled her eyes.

“If you tire of him, I will put him down for you.”, Lae’zel spat.

“Noted.”

SiNafae checked the clothes for dryness. The leathers were still damp but everything else was dry. Giving Lae’zel her robe, they all put on clothes as the men woke in the forge room. They went into the forge room and sat around the tables. They passed around the bread and cheese with a bottle of wine. SiNafae noted the wall had a glyph on it. It was a ward wall like the others above ground. _Oh, thank the gods. This makes returning to the surface easier. There might be more down here._

Taking her leave from the table she returned to her backpack and brought out her spellbook. She flipped through its pages until she found the spell she had written months ago. Continual flame had seemed stupid to learn at the time, she can see just fine in the dark but now she was in the Underdark with people who can’t see in the dark. Torches would only last so long, and this spell would last until dispelled. On the plus side, it wouldn’t ignite the gases that they would definitely find as they wandered down here. She was reading the pages and failed to notice the shadow in front of her. The shadow tsked.

“And here I thought you went back to sleep.”, Astarion teased.

“I might later. I want to make this place secure before we move on from here. I’m going to get Gale to help me place some wards later.”

“All work and no play today, hmm?”

SiNafae lowered her spellbook and looked up. He was smiling at her, he seemed relaxed. She remembered she needed to teach him drow sign language. She patted the spot next to her. Astarion smiled and sat down.

“Yes my love?”, he cooed.

“Today I need to start teaching you sign language. If you get it right you can have a reward.”

“Oh? And what reward would that be?”, he purred.

“Oh…Well…I haven’t thought of one.”, she stammered.

Astarion laughed, “Well isn’t that interesting. Alright, if I do well you have to take off all your clothes, if I lose then I have to take off all of mine.”

SiNafae raised an eyebrow, “I’m not sure you understand what a reward and a punishment are, Astarion. If either of us takes their clothes off, the other will just end up naked anyway.”

He flashed a fangy grin, “Exactly.”

“Fine.”, SiNafae said as she rolled her eyes.

“So we can have full conversations that will be private?

SiNafae tilted her head, “I suppose…”

“Perfect. Teach away, darling.”, Astarion grinned.

“This might have been a mistake.”, she chuckled.

Astarion was a quick study. After a few hours, he could make simple sentences. He was doing better than she expected.

SiNafae stretched, “Alright, we can stop here for now.”

Astarion’s eyes flashed, “And what are you going to take off first?”

“Nothing.”

“But..”

“I will honor our arrangement but not right now. There will be time to play later.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been turned down before. I’m hurt darling.”, he pouted teasingly.

SiNafae grinned as she rolled her eyes. She leaned into him and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. He huffed and took her hand, kissing her knuckles.

“You must be hungry.”, she sighed.

“That obvious?”, he chuckled.

She pulled her hair back and exposed her neck. He leaned into her neck, “I will never stop thanking you for this gift.”

Astarion kissed her neck as he bit into her. Astarion fondled her breast, causing her to sigh against him. She ran her fingers through his hair as he played with her nipple over her shirt. She heard footsteps coming closer from the staircase. There was a gasp and a murmur from Gale.

“Oh…I’ll just come back later.”, Gale said as he turned away and headed back down the stairs. SiNafae felt her face flush with embarrassment. Astarion was giggling as he pulled more blood from her. She felt his tongue against her neck as he stopped the bleeding. She shot him a glare as he stifled his laughter. He handed her an apple and lay on his bedroll looking like a cat caught eating the canary and didn’t care one bit. SiNafae ate her apple and left Astarion to himself on the battlements. She found Gale in the courtyard pacing.

“Gale?”

“Ah…I didn’t mean to interrupt. I should have made myself known sooner.”

“It’s fine. What can I do for you?”

“About the artifacts…”

“Oh, I completely forgot, Gale. I meant to give it to you yesterday. I’ll be right back.”, SiNafae ran back up the stairs. She came back not long after holding a necklace in her hand.

“Even with my _“breeze of a Weave”,_ I can tell it’s powerful.”, she smirked as she handed it to Gale.

“So you remembered those words I foolishly said. In my arrogance that day, you could have left me to fend for myself. I’m not the wizard I use to be. You are correct though; this is an artifact of sufficient power.”

“Explain it to me then.”

“In a moment but first let me absorb this artifact.”

Gale brought the necklace to his heart. Bright reddish-purple light poured forth, consuming the necklace’s magic. As it faded, the necklace crumbled to dust in Gale’s hand. He looked out of breath and pale. SiNafae backed away from him.

“Gale, what the Hells? What the fuck did you do?”

“Fae, please. Can we sit and talk about this like educated people?”

“…Yes…”, SiNafae eyed Gale cautiously. Whatever he did was powerful and very dangerous.

“You know about Karsus’ Folly, I assume?”

SiNafae nodded. Every wizard was taught about the greed of a man who would be a god. Karsus tried to become a god, in his greed he chose to siphon Mystryl, the original goddess of magic’s power. He failed when she sacrificed herself to save the Weave.

“When that happened, a small piece of Mystryl was hidden away in the Astral Plane. I tell you that to explain next what happened. A young prodigy once lived in a tower. He could use the Weave like a musician plays an instrument. He was powerful and drew the attention of Mystra. She called him her Chosen One. She revealed her secrets to him and then later called him lover. The wizard loved her dearly. Then one day, she withdrew her favor from him. The wizard was heartbroken and decided to do something very foolish to win back her favor. He discovered that piece of Mystryl that had been hidden away in the Astral Plane. He took it, intent to return it to the goddess. The goddess however refused to speak to him, and here we are.”

“You are indeed foolish, Gale. A mortal man pining for a goddess.”

“That is my story. I was young and heartbroken. Even now, I still think of her. The abilities and power I once could do without a thought are at times impossible to do. To keep the power I hold contained; I have to consume powerful magic. It’s like living with a thunderstorm inside. I can keep it at bay but someday it may overtake me and destroy me and everything around me for miles. I am grateful for your trust in me and the artifact. I can only hope we can find more in the Underdark.”

“How old are you, Gale. Around 30 or so?”

“Close, I’m 33. Why?”

“A pity Mystra turned away from you. You are a good mage Gale; I just hope that you can move past the relationship that you shared and find someone else to cherish.”

Gale looked past SiNafae to Shadowheart standing off in the distance, “I think I’m beginning to.”

SiNafae nodded, grinning, “Did you enjoy the party? I heard it was fun.”

“Well…I…um…guess it was…”, he stammered.

“You don’t know? You both did not stay?”, SiNafae chuckled.

Gale looked away, blushing, “We…did not.”

“Good.”, SiNafae stood and squeezed Gale’s shoulder, “Enjoy your life, my friend. We could all die today.”

Gale nodded as he folded his hands together. “One more thing before you go. That spell you threw at Minratha, what was it?”

“Oh that. It is a war mage spell my father taught me. It’s called the Flaming Sphere. It’s a high-level spell for me to cast, so I don’t cast it unless I’m out of options. It takes a great deal from me as you saw.”

“Perhaps you could teach it to me?”

“I’ll write it down for you and we can work on it later. I need your help warding this place first.”

“Wonderful. I’ll go get those components for the warding spells and meet you back here in a few.”, Gale stood and went to the forge room.

SiNafae suddenly remembered about Lae’zel. She knew Lae’zel would be upset for being forgotten. She had been left with nothing but SiNafae’s robe for the last two hours. Lae’zel was by the fire near her leathers.

“Lae’zel, I am so very sorry.”

“Tsck. How could you forget me? Surely your tryst with Astarion or your conversation with Gale could have waited.”, Lae’zel sighed.

“Firstly, I didn’t sleep with Astarion, I was teaching him drow sign language and Gale’s conversation was important for a completely dangerous reason. I apologize. Shall I kneel before you and submit myself to your mercy?”, SiNafae smirked.

“Yes, do it now!”, Lae’zel commanded.

“As you command.” SiNafae kneeled in front of Lae’zel.

“Wipe that smile off your face and bow your head.”, Lae’zel hissed.

SiNafae obeyed. Lae’zel paced in front of SiNafae. SiNafae could hear the others nearby shuffling closer.

“You forgot about me. While I appreciate that you washed my leathers, you left me practically naked. If we had been attacked, I would have likely perished. I am disappointed in your carelessness. Now bow lower.”

SiNafae bowed lower. She pressed her forehead against the cold stone floor. Lae’zel was very angry.

“Do you understand what you did wrong?”, Lae’zel sighed, “Speak.”

“I forgot about you and could have caused the death of our strongest warrior from my negligence. I beg for your forgiveness or a quick death.”

She heard a laugh from Lae’zel, “Very well, death it is.”

SiNafae lifted her head quickly, “What?!”

Lae’zel was smiling. Lae’zel never smiled or joked around. This was unexpected. She held her hand out to SiNafae. SiNafae took Lae’zel’s hand and was pulled to her feet.

“Good, now don’t forget me again.”, Lae’zel nodded.

“I won’t. Gods help me, I won’t.”

The leathers were dry and were given to Lae’zel to put on. SiNafae had to hand it to Lae’zel, she had a great poker face. She was afraid Lae’zel would have killed her for a second.


	15. Light and Darkness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gale and SiNafae spend time working on spells. Gale shares advice to help SiNafae improve her connection with the Weave. Astarion and Wyll talk about a future that might come to pass. SiNafae and Astarion progress their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm currently working two jobs so my posts will slow down. Thank you all for your time in reading my work. It means a lot to me.
> 
>   
> Used latin for the spell words in Common. I have letter flip dyslexia when writing in English, I thought it would be interesting to have a character who had that issue too.

Gale, SiNafae, and Shadowheart set wards near the windows and the gate of the temple. SiNafae wasn’t well versed in warding spells, she never had use for them in the past. Gale and Shadowheart looked over her work and made corrections as they went. SiNafae was slightly embarrassed at the mistakes she made during the day. She brought her spellbook with her after the second time Shadowheart tsked at her spelling. It took longer than usual to place the wards but once they were done, SiNafae’s anxiety eased. Going back over the wording in her spellbook, she double-checked what she had written with Gale.

“This word here is _defendere_. You spelled it _defanbere_.”

“I see. The phrase is _defendere et custodire (defend and keep safe)_.”

“Correct. I’m not sure what the Drowic equivalent is. Abjuration isn’t a strong school for you is it?”

SiNafae laughed, “It is not. At least the wards and glyphs part of it anyway. I don’t always write clearly and sometimes letters or numbers are flipped for me.”

“Flipped how?”, Gale asked.

“Umm…like the letter b will be a d or a 5 is a 3. It affects my spelling in Common sometimes. I don’t have that difficultly in Drowic. I wrote down the flaming sphere spell for you. In Drowic it’s **_chath buat’leb_**. In Common, it’s _sphaera ignis (flaming sphere)_. Here is some tallow, brimstone, and powdered iron. You just need a pinch of all three. Combine them and speak the words slowly. Give it a try and aim for that water barrel.”

Gale took the materials and combined them, he surrounded himself with the Weave and spoke, “ _Sph-ae-ra ignis_.”

The sphere took shape on the ground near the barrel, then it winked out of existence.

“Good. The sphere will move anywhere you want up to 30 feet away. It can go over five-foot walls if you can see over it or go from floor to ceiling. Once its path is blocked it will stop moving. Anything in its path or touches that is flammable will catch fire. Try again.”

Gale combined the components and surrounded himself in the Weave again, “ _Sph-ae-ra ignis_.”

The sphere took shape once again but was more stable this time. Gale moved his hand left and the sphere moved left. He pushed his hand forward and the sphere rolled toward the barrel. The sphere stopped rolling once it touched the barrel and the barrel started to char. Gale dismissed the sphere.

“Excellent. Well done.”, SiNafae grinned nodding.

“Did you want to…?”, Gale held out the remaining components.

“I don’t think I should. I’m still not strong enough to cast it.”, she said shaking her head.

“We aren’t any danger if it’s too much for you just dismiss it. It will be ok.”, Gale encouraged.

“Ok.”

SiNafae took the components from Gale and combined them. She relaxed and breathed in deep. She felt the Weave surround her and empower her as she spoke, “ ** _Cha-th buat’leb_**.”

The sphere appeared near the barrel. She moved it backward and forwards. She felt the Weave waiver in her hands. She dismissed it and panted heavily.

“ ** _Xsa ol!_** _(Damn it!)_ ”, she spat. SiNafae summoned a knife of ice and threw it at the barrel, knocking it over.

Gale approached her and put his hand on her shoulder. She glared at him. He looked into her eyes and nodded. Her expression softened and she sighed as she put her forehead on his shoulder.

“I hate this. This lack of control and weakness. That spell was difficult before, but I didn’t suffer so.”, SiNafae whispered.

“I understand how you feel. When Mystra withdrew her favor from me, I found it difficult to cast spells I had cast before with ease. There are still some spells I can no longer cast. Unlike me, your weakness will subside with time. I know it’s hard and extremely frustrating, we can practice spells during the evening if you want. We can work on strengthening your connection to the Weave again. Do you have difficulty with your cleric spells?”

She looked up at Gale and frowned, “No, but the divine and the arcane work in different ways as you know. My cleric spells are limited anyway and don’t offer us a lot of benefits.”

“Meditate on your connection with the Weave when you can. Do simple spells and work your way up from there. We will leave tomorrow so you have time.”

SiNafae collected her spellbook and went back to the battlements. She was tired and decided to take a nap. As she climbed the stairs, she heard Wyll and Astarion talking. She stopped and listened to their conversation.

“What are your plans once you find your succubus?”, Astarion asked.

“I was going to ask Mizora to end our contract when we were taken. I knew what I would have to sacrifice when I made the deal, but I’ve done things since then that I’m ashamed of. Things I can’t take back or hope to make right. This isn’t what I wanted when I first made the contract. I want out.”, Wyll sighed.

“I don’t think it will be that easy, Wyll. You’re eternally fucked.”

“I know. As the Blade, I’m known in this area as a hero. My fame is making its way to Baldur’s Gate as well. You heard Counsellor Florrick, she knew of me, trusted me because of my reputation. By now she’s told the Council about us going to find the Grand Duke. We have to at least find his body to show we tried. Returning him to Baldur’s Gate alive would be more beneficial to the city and its people.”

“Indeed. I don’t really care what happens in the city. It concerns me less than what happens within the Szarr coven. However you are right, a power struggle would be bad for business for those alive or undead. Of course, I could use the chaos to enact some personal justice of my own.”, Astarion mused.

“I’ll help you of course. Couldn’t call me a monster hunter without going after a vampire lord, now could I?”, Wyll chuckled.

Wyll paused and looked at Astarion. Astarion raised an eyebrow, motioning for him to speak.

“What will you do once you’re free?”

“I’d wait a few days to make sure the bastard was truly dead. After that, I’d burn it to the ground. Assuming I’m still a vampire spawn and still have this tadpole to deal with, I’d be interested traveling. I’d be no longer confined to the night and the dark. The flip side to that is if I’m a full vampire and tadpole free, I might still travel but under cover of night. It would be slightly depressing after being able to enjoy the sun after so long.”

“If you are a full vampire and with a tadpole?”, Wyll asked.

“Well, that would make things interesting, wouldn’t it? I would have to travel. Every monster hunter in the Realms would be after me. It would be a difficult life to be sure.”

“What about Fae?”

“What about her?”

“You wouldn’t abandon her, would you? Even for you, that’s pretty low.”, Wyll remarked.

Astarion scoffed annoyed, “I’m insulted that you would even mention it. Abandon her? How dare you.”

Wyll raised his hands to placate Astarion, “I’m sorry. I consider her a friend and just don’t want to see her hurt. I know what you mean to her, I just couldn’t stand by if your intentions are ill towards.”

“I’m not a good person but even I wouldn’t willingly betray her. The rest of you, eh. To be clear, I care for her. If we get to Baldur’s Gate and Cazador regains control of me, I want you to take her far away and protect her with your life. Promise me.”

“I swear, I’ll protect her if you are unable to.”, Wyll pledged.

“Good. Now with that out of the way, how much longer do you think they will take to finish warding this temple?”

“They should be done by now. Did you want to go back down with me?”

SiNafae left her place on the stairs and climbed the rest of the way up. She smiled at Wyll and Astarion like she hadn’t been eavesdropping.

“Perhaps later. I have some things that I need to do here first.”

Wyll nodded, “Alright, come down whenever you guys are free. Me and Lae’zel are going back to the grove for food. Did you want anything Fae?”

“I would love some chicken or beef if there is any.”

“You know druids are mostly vegetarian, right?”, Wyll replied.

“Oh, I guess bread and fruit then. If you guys could hunt a boar that would be wonderful.”

Wyll chuckled, “I’ll see what we can do. I’ll see ya later.”

As Wyll left, Astarion made his way to her. His eyes looked her over and she felt exposed. She looked into his red eyes and saw concern. She didn’t think she looked tired, but her brain told her otherwise. She closed the gap between them and placed her spellbook on a crate nearby.

“Fae…”, Astarion began but he never got to finish his thought. She enveloped his mouth with hers. She wrapped her arms around him and embraced him tightly. He tried to resist as she moved him back towards their bedrolls. He pulled back lightly.

“Astarion, I believe I owe you a reward. My mind tires but my body calls for you. Would you be willing to love me for a short while?”, she cooed.

“I’m not sure that’s wise.”

She ran her fingers along his length, feeling his beginning hardness, “I think parts of you disagree.”, she smirked.

Astarion took her hand and kissed her knuckles. “Darling, if it’s what you really want, how could I say no.”

SiNafae lead him to their bedrolls and kneeled on the blankets. Patting the bedroll in front of her, she motioned for him to sit. He sat facing her and leaned in to kiss her. She kissed him hungrily and unbuttoned his shirt. Astarion cupped her face in his hands as he deepened their kiss. SiNafae moved to straddle his lap as she removed his shirt. Trailing her fingers across his chest, she leaned into his neck and nibbled at his flesh. He pulled her closer as he unbuttoned her shirt, exposing her shoulders and nipped at her collarbone. She sighed as she rocked against him. He moaned softly at her movements. Astarion pulled her shirt down more, exposing her breasts to his mouth. SiNafae gasped as his mouth surrounded and sucked on her nipple. Flicking his tongue against it, he looked up to see the flushed pleasure in her expression. He pulled the rest of her shirt off and leaned her back into the blankets. SiNafae rubbed the tips of his ears with her fingers causing him to sigh.

He kissed her as he removed her pants. He untied the lacing of his trousers but stopped from removing them. SiNafae looked at him puzzled. Astarion gently spread her legs open and kissed her inner thigh. Running his tongue across her inner thigh, he drew a deep moan and a shiver from her. Placing a hand on his head, SiNafae ran her fingers through his hair. He breathed in her scent, could feel the heat of her sex near his mouth. He opened her folds and licked into her. She gripped his hair as he licked and sucked her folds and clit. She had never experienced this before. She felt tense from the pleasure it gave her. She gripped the blanket as her legs wobbled and her toes curled.

“ ** _Ussta che_** _(my love) …please…_ ”, she panted.

Astarion came up from between her grinning, “What’s that **_salen aestar_** _(my love)_? I didn’t quite hear you.”

“Please…don’t tease me anymore.”, she groaned.

He freed himself from his trousers and poised himself near her. She wrapped her legs around his hips and brought him into her. She was so wet and ready for him; her body took him easily. He moaned at the feeling of her surrounding him with her heat. SiNafae panted heavily as she drew him into a kiss. She tasted herself on his lips. She caused him to shudder when she grazed his fangs with her tongue. He pressed into her as he quickened his movements. Astarion grunted as he lifted one of her knees to her elbows, pushing himself completely inside her. She squeezed him harder from within as she bit into her lips to keep her moaning under control. He felt his climax building as he lifted her other knee. He moaned loudly as he moved faster. Her mouth came open, causing short grunts with each thrust he made.

“SiNafae…darling…”

“A…Astarion…I…I love you…”

He felt her grip him as she came. He grunted as he pushed harder into her, feeling his release not long after. They both panted hard, still entwined in each other. Their hearts pounded in their chests as they embraced.

Looking into her eyes, he whispered back, “I love you too.”

SiNafae smiled weakly as she caressed his cheek. She knew it wasn’t something he would tell her just to make her happy, he meant it. For better or worse, he actually meant it. He smiled back at her. She had meant it, had given herself over to him. It would be difficult in the future for both of them. No matter what happened, they would have each other. He hoped for the first time in a long time that he would be able to be happy. He wrapped them inside their blankets as he laid next to her. She drifted into her trance as he placed a kiss on her jaw and settled beside her to enter his trance. They stayed wrapped in their blankets until the others came to wake them for lunch.


End file.
